


Chasing Ghosts

by doopyboop



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes-centric, Minor Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-07-18 09:33:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 38,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7309651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doopyboop/pseuds/doopyboop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which an escaped hydra victim tracks down the Winter Soldier to try and help him. She had most of her memories back and he didn't. She was set on trying to get him to remember his life and the role she had in it.</p><p>  --</p><p>  {post Captain America: The Winter Soldier}<br/>{follows the song Chasing Ghosts by Against the Current}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> This story can also be found on Wattpad, I wrote it there originally and I'm transferring it over here as I write. It's called Chasing Ghosts by doopyboop over there as well.

" WE USED TO HAVE A LIGHT, NOW IT'S TOO DARK TO SHINE "

Riley, Steve, and Bucky were best friends. All three were inseparable since childhood. Bucky and Steve were best friends and neighbors and Riley was Steve's cousin. When Riley's parents were killed she moved in with Steve.

At first Bucky was jealous of Riley as Riley was jealous of Bucky. They had set aside their jealously for Steve and soon the two duos became a single trio.

Since then the Golden Trio, as some called them, did everything together it came as no surprise when Bucky enlisted for the military that Steve and Riley did too.

Bucky was almost instantaneously accepted, Steve was denied just as quickly, and the recruiter filed Riley's papers under nursing instead and only laughed when Riley insisted he move them to the soldier pile.

Only a week later Bucky got his orders and as did Riley, apparently an Agent Carter requested her to join her forces. Riley liked to think it was because she had promised to "go full Mulan on their asses" if they made her a nurse.

Bucky and Riley were walking back from their lunch date when they heard a familiar voice say "I can do this all day." followed by the sound of a body hitting aluminum. Bucky sighed and the two followed the noise down the ally where, to no surprise, they found Steve losing a fight.

"Hey buddy!" Riley yelled, catching the man's attention.

The man's demeanor changed once he realized Riley was a woman.

"Hey doll, why-"

Riley didn't let him finish before she punched him in the face and shoved him towards Bucky who literally kicked him out of the ally.

"I had him on the ropes."

"I know you did."

"Wait. Did you get your orders?" Steve questioned, noticing Bucky and Riley's attire.

"Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th reporting for duty." Bucky answered with a goofy grin. 

Steve looked over at Riley.

"I get shipped out to London tomorrow. I don't have any other information." she said meekly.

The whirlpool of emotions was evident in Steve's eyes but he tried his best to replace them all with joy for his friends. He offered them a weak smile, ignoring the fact that he knew the couple in front of him could see right though it.

"Come on we have somewhere to get to."

"Where are we going?"

"The future"

And to the future they went, oblivious as to what they would encounter and how their lives would change forever.


	2. 1.1 : " NOW WE'RE JUST PASSING BY "

Riley stood in front of the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian.

It made her smile to see Steve being appreciated and loved so fully. She couldn't really remember him, but from what she could remember, she knew he deserved it. She knew how much he wanted to fight and she knew how much she loved and trusted him as a child. And based on what she knew about herself she knew that it was a real accomplishment to be regarded so highly in her eyes.

She moved over to an exhibit showcasing a much more familiar face. The face of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, or as she knew him, the Winter Soldier.

Looking at the face of James and not the Soldier made a burst of pain hit her head, she had felt this pain before; she knew what was happening, she was getting a memory. The pain gradually got worse as Riley pushed the memories forward. She collapsed on her knees when the pain got too much to handle. Flashes of memories with James came and went; the pictures of the two kissing, laughing, fighting together, sitting in a cell, crying as he was being dragged away sticking out the most.

"Bucky?" she asked to no one in particular.

"Excuse me miss, are you okay?" a young lady asked.

Riley realized she was still on the ground. "Yes, thank you."

The lady looked at Riley with wide eyes, she turned around to stare at something and then looked back. "Are you - Is your - You look a lot like that girl on the wall over there." The lady slowly backed away.

Riley stood up, confused on what the woman was talking about. The lady had left before Riley could ask what was freaking her out.

Slowly, she walked over to the wall the lady was referencing and gasped.

She was on the wall. It was actually her, not the machine Hydra tricked her into being. Riley was on the wall, not Devastation. And it seemed to be for something good, which this Riley was not used to.

Had she actually done something good in her life? All she could remember was murder.

Curiosity took over and she started reading what the plaque said.

" Riley Marie Rogers, Steve Rogers' cousin, was hand picked to work beside Agent Peggy Carter by Peggy Carter herself. Together the two helped the SSR and Project Rebirth succeed in the transformation of Steve Rogers. She is known and respected for her help in creating the serum that transformed Captain Rogers. Agent Rogers was captured on a mission to retrieve the 107th from a Hydra facility. Her body was never found. "

A picture of her, Steve, James, and a woman whom she presumed was Peggy was hanging underneath the plaque.

An involuntary tear slipped down her cheek.

Confused, Riley wiped the tear away. She didn't know what was happening.

She didn't really remember anything about herself. She didn't remember much about the old Riley. She remembered spending the majority of her life with two boys, who she now knows as Steve and Bucky. She remembered Steve being a small kid too stupid to run from a fight which made her protective of him. She remembered having strong feelings for Bucky. She remembered a pair of eyes, they were a stunning shade of blue that made her understand how she couldn't forget them. She assumed they belonged to Bucky.

But after this trip, she learned Steve was her cousin, Bucky was James Barnes who was the Winter Soldier, and she was an important part of the war.

Bucky, James, and the Soldier being one person is what put Riley on edge the most. It confused her if she was being honest. They were different people in her mind: James was a soldier for the US Army, Bucky was who she loved, and the Winter Soldier was who she knew. Or at least that's how it seemed.

All she knew for sure was that Hydra is behind her pain and suffering. They captured Riley and turned her into Devastation. She knew her and the Winter Soldier were partners, that they killed together. She knew she was a wanted woman.

She wanted to believe that Devastation wasn't her. But she wasn't naive, she knew that who Hydra made her was only an enhanced version of who she was. She longed to be Riley again, not just an assassin carrying around her face and name.

Shaking her head she decided that was enough for today. Her battle to find out who she was could wait to continue until tomorrow.

She went passed the James Barnes exhibit on her way out. Turning away from the exhibit (looking at it hurt her too much) she caught a glimpse at a man standing at the exhibit with an unreadable expression. His eyes met hers. And for a second, she thought recognition flashed in his eyes.

But Riley didn't get a good look at his face before she continued walking, she wasn't in the mood to be a detective. All she could think about was his eyes, and how familiar they seemed.

\----

Riley was sitting in her two room safe house thinking about the man at the Smithsonian.

Something about him left her wanting to find more. She was kicking herself for only quickly glancing at him.

She believed it was his eyes, the color was unique but she knew she had seen them before.

The old tv in the corner of her bedroom/living room finally tuned into the news channel.

A reporter was talking about the downfall of Shield, an organization that used to be her enemy, an organization that should've been trying to save her. But she knew who their leader was, she knew the real person Alexander Pierce was. Which is why it didn't come to her as a surprise when Shield fell. It was only a matter of time.

What did surprise her, however, was the death of Pierce.

She should've been celebrating, but she got distracted by something else on the screen before she could fully register the joy of his death.

The Winter Soldier was on the news.

He tried to kill Captain America.

She should've been appalled. She should've wanted to find and hurt, maybe even kill, the Soldier.

But she wasn't.

She, of all people, knew that he was under the influence of Hydra and what that meant.

Killing the Captain was the Soldier's mission, and Riley thought that maybe she was the only one who would truly understand that.

"The Winter Soldier was not found, we have reason to believe he is still out there. Be advised that he is dangerous and any contact with him should be avoided at all costs. If you are ever found in the presence of the Soldier do not engage, call your local authorities." The voice of a reporter flooded through the speakers of her tv and into her room. Riley stopped paying attention as her mind started reeling.

The pieces slowly started to fall into place.

Soldier was on a mission when Pierce died, that meant he didn't have anywhere to report to, Captain America was found alone a river bank, someone had to pull him out of the river, the man she saw with familiar eyes, him just so happening to be staring at the James Barnes exhibit.

It all made sense.

The Winter Soldier was still out there. He was in DC. He's probably scared and alone and Riley could be the only person on the planet that can understand what he's going through.

She has to find him.

Now.

A yawn escaped her lips.

"Okay," she thought, "maybe after a nap."


	3. 1.2 " TWO SHIPWRECKS IN THE NIGHT "

It was eleven o'clock at night. Any normal person would be scared to walk the streets of Washington DC so late at night. But not Riley.

She found the cold, dark, and frightening atmosphere to be comforting. It reminded her of the cryochamber. And although that thing meant she had her identity stolen from her again, that she had once again been taken prisoner by Hydra, she could see the good in it. Being in there meant she wasn't killing anyone and, despite popular belief, killing wasn't something she enjoyed. Her torment meant civilians were safe from her and she was safe from herself.

She'd had another nightmare, but it wasn't just some story her subconscious thought up. This was a memory.

Her and the Winter Soldier were assigned a case.

The two set off without question. Questions slowed down time and time was opportunity and opportunity was everything.

Time skipped and they were waiting for the car to pass. Devastation motioned for the Soldier to follow on the motorcycle and begin phase one. When the car crashed she had Soldier retrieve what was in the trunk while she killed the driver and passenger. She went to the driver's side first because that's where the man was. Her specific instructions were to kill the man while Soldier killed the woman and to not forget the package in the trunk. When she got to the driver's seat the man looked up and into her eyes, she saw recognition flash across his features. "Riley?"

She felt her fingers pull the gun's trigger. She watched as she killed Howard Stark; her friend, her co-worker, the man that helped her cousin reach his potential, that same man who introduced her to her love of technology. Devastation felt nothing.

Time skipped again and they were back at the Hydra base.

There was an agent was complaining because they sent two assets out for a job one could've easily handled. Devastation contemplated breaking from her restraints to shut the man up.

"Well you know what they say; wherever the Winter Soldier goes, Devastation follows."

Riley felt a shiver run down her spine as she thought of her nightmare.

She shook it off and opened the door to a diner.

She sat down at the bar beside a man with a long sleeve coat and ball cap on.

"I'll have a coffee and a stack of pancakes please." Riley hadn't been on her own for long, and the new food of the 21st century scared her, so she stuck to the never failing pancakes. They reminded her of her childhood. Apparently she was quite fond of pancakes when she shared them with her cousin.

Part of her wondered what her cousin would think if she showed up with a stack of pancakes and a smile. Would he be scared? Would he laugh? Would he even understand the gesture?

Riley let the kind smile fall off her face when the waitress turned her back.

Her eyes shifted to the man beside her. He looked familiar. Suddenly it clicked.

"You were at the Smithsonian earlier today, weren't you?"

The man turned to her, his eyes widened slightly. "Do I know you?"

His voice seemed groggy, it was as if he had slept for years or it had been that long since he used his voice.

"I was hoping you could answer that for me."

The man hung his head. "I don't even know who I am," he said it to himself, too quietly for any normal person to hear, but Riley was no normal person.

His voice and the slight flash of metal she noticed under his glove confirmed all her suspicions. She could barely believe she had found him so quickly, and without even trying to look for him at all.

"Well it looks like you're in luck pal. I think I know you."

"You know me?"

"I do. And honestly, I'm offended you don't know me."

"You seem familiar. I have memories with you in them, but I'm finding it hard for them to be real. They can't be real." His eyebrows were furrowed together and his shoulders were slouched, he was trying hard to remember something. He whispered the last part to himself.

"Don't. Getting memories back hurts too much, just wait for them to come." she advised. "Trust me, I've been through that part already - still going through it technically." she added after he sent her a confused glance.

"What are we?"

"Only the physical embodiment of a shipwreck."

Neither spoke much after that.

Riley was getting ready to leave 30 minutes later after finishing all her pancakes.

Once she realized the Soldier was still beside her she sighed. She knew what she needed to do, after all she had begun searching for him and now that he was literally beside her she'd be stupid to let him go.

"Come on, Coffee. Let's go."

"Coffee? Wait- why do you want me to go with you?"

"You've done nothing but drink coffee since I've been here. We're going to my place."

"And what makes you think I want to go with you?"

"Because I've been where you are. You're paranoid. You think Hydra is going to pop out at any second and take you back to that hell hole. You started remembering things and it hurts but you welcome the pain because maybe, just maybe, after enough pain you'll finally remember who you are and not just what you've done. Or maybe the pain will get too much and you'll take one too many pain killers so you don't have to worry about anything anymore. You're scared because the few people who have somewhat recognized you haven't said anything in fear and you know why. You understand their fear because you'd fear yourself too. You're afraid because this is new territory and you have no idea what to do with the freedom given to you. You're going to come with me because I know who you really are and I know damn well that's all you want to know."

He stood up. "I don't even know your name."

"I'm Riley. Since you don't like Coffee, what do you want to be called?"

He furrowed his brows again, "The last person that I talked to called me Bucky."

"Well then Bucky, lets get a move on."


	4. 1.3 : " REMEMBER WHEN WE MET? "

The walk to Riley's safe-house was silent. It was twelve thirty in the morning by the time they made it there. Riley was starting to get nervous. Bucky hadn't said a word since he asked to be called Bucky back in the diner. She figured he was just lost in thought, she could understand that.

But the silence was killing her. She had always had problems keeping quiet even when she was captured by Hydra back in the 40s, which caused her unnecessary pain and torture but she still couldn't help it. When people were quiet she thought they were plotting against her, it was all paranoia and picking up the second half of the Assassin Duo didn't help ease that paranoia.

"Well here we are, home sweet home. At least for now." When Bucky stayed quiet Riley motioned for him to sit at the chair while she headed towards the bathroom. "Make yourself at home."

When she came out Bucky was still in the same spot with his eyes trained on the wall directly in front of him. Riley sat down in the chair across from him.

"I guess it's late, we could always sleep and start tomorrow."

But neither Riley or Bucky had any intention on sleeping. Both had too many thoughts running through their heads.

Bucky broke the silence that once again fell between the two, surprising not only Riley but himself.

"What do you remember?"

Riley thought for a moment. "I remember my name. I remember Devastation and the Winter Soldier, what they did, who they were, the lives I stole, everything they ever did." She sighed before she continues, "I remember a boy named Steve, and a strong urge to protect him from anything. I remember a woman named Peggy, I think we were good friends. There's a man that gives me a weird feeling every time I think about him, I have memories of him and I on dates, I think I loved him."

Bucky nodded, he was the only one who could truly understand what she was feeling. "What was his name?"

Riley gave him a small smile before replying, "James."

"You said you knew who I was?" Riley nodded in response. "Do you remember when we met?"

"Which time?"

\----

"Steve's out back." Sarah said. Riley's face lit up like a Christmas tree at the mention of her cousin. She ran outside but was surprised, and a bit upset, to find someone already out there with him.

"Riley!" Steve ran to hug her.

"Hi Steve! Who's your friend?"

"Oh that's Bucky. He's my best friend. I bet you guys will be best friends too, I promise."

Riley nodded and hesitantly walked over. The eight-year-old didn't do well with meeting new people.

She was polite to the boy, as he was to her, but there was an obvious tension between the two.

It wasn't long before Bucky's mother came over to retrieve him, she was quick to express her joy of the addition to the Rogers' family.

Riley's Aunt Sarah even joked about how it would be destined for Riley and Bucky to fall in love, like it was written in the cheesy romance novels her mother used to read.

Everyone was rooting for them, but they weren't rooting for each other.

Riley was jealous of Bucky; he and Steve had a bond similar to that of her and Steve. It made her think their bond wasn't as special as she had once believed which in turn made her not special to Steve.

Bucky was jealous of Riley because she was Steve's real family, and Bucky didn't want Steve to abandon him.

Once Bucky left Steve continued talking about how great he was and how happy he was that his two best friends would be best friends too, and Riley realized how selfish she was being. Although she was still jealous of the young boy she vowed she would be friends with him, for Steve's sake.

\----

Bucky was being dragged into a room he didn't recognize. He was drifting in and out of consciousness, never really knowing where he was or what was happening around him. Fear and pain was evident in his eyes, whenever he had enough energy to keep them open. He longed to give into the darkness threatening to consume him.

But then he saw her, Riley, his Riley, standing over him.

But something was different, there was no light in her eyes, her face held no emotion. She looked like a shell of a human being with a robot inside, controlling her every move.

"Riley," he called to her, hoping to break whatever spell she was under.

She looked at him with the same emotionless expression, "Who the hell is Riley?"

Bucky had succumbed to the darkness directly after hearing her.

The woman grabbed the automatic saw and brought it down to the remainder of the man's left arm, she didn't stop to wipe the blood off that had splattered on her face. Confusion flooded her when he had called her Riley. Was that her name? She didn't know. She elected to ignore these feelings and return to the task given to her. She knew the consequences of failing to comply, and she'd rather not deal with those.

"Operation Devastation is a success." a voice called from behind her as a scream of pure pain tore through the unconscious man's lips.

\----

Down. Up. Punch. Down. Up. Kick. Down. Up. Down.

A metal arm swung, it was caught right before hitting it's target.

Down. Up. Punch.

The dance continued, never once missing a beat, neither soldier having a clear advantage.

Down. Up. Kick.

This time when the metal limb came at her, Devastation was on the wrong count.

She flew across the room, landing in a heap on the floor.

"Alright that's enough," an agent said from the corner.

Devastation got up, not willing to lose so easily.

She ran towards the metal armed man.

Jumping at the last minute, she managed to wrap her legs around the man's neck.

Using all her strength, she flipped backwards and pulled the man down with her.

She was pulled off him after that.

"I said enough," the man was yelling now, and grabbed her arm.

Devastation felt the pain run through her arm when he snapped it.

She didn't even flinch.

This wasn't even close to the worst pain she's endured, if anything, a broken arm was a tickle.

She contemplated throwing the agent across the room, she knew she was strong enough to, but she didn't in fear of being tortured again for her actions.

"Who is he?" she asked instead.

"That's the Winter Soldier, your new partner."

\----

"So you're telling me that we've met on three separate occasions?"

"Well four now if you count the Smithsonian and the diner."

"I may not remember anything, but I do know that those times were separate which means we've met fives times, not four."

"Shut up Bucky."


	5. 1.4 : " YOU WERE SUCH A MESS, I THOUGHT IT WAS SWEET "

Riley was only afraid she offended Bucky for a second until he let out a beautiful laugh.

"I think that's the first time I've laughed in 70 years."

That comment lowered the mood significantly.

"You know what? I still don't know if we ever won the war." Riley blurted out, trying to lighten the mood again.

Bucky only raised an eyebrow as she leaped forward and grabbed her computer.

"Okay just so you know they call it World War Two now and we did indeed win. It seems as though our efforts were not in vain."

"Riley if you could stop bullshitting me, that'd be great."

"What do you mean?" Riley tried to smirk but it probably ended up looking more like a grimace. That tends to happen when you try to hide something.

"You were at the Smithsonian today, in the World War Two section. You know we won. Stop trying to distract me."

"That's not what I was doing." Riley sighed, he really didn't understand her efforts.

"Then why lie?"

"Because I was trying to see if you remembered the war, enlisting for it or fighting in it. Anything. I'm trying to gauge where we need to start."

"Why didn't you just ask?"

"Would you have told me?"

It was Bucky's turn to sigh. "What are we doing really?"

"I'm helping you get your memories back."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? I told you in the diner, I know where you're coming from."

"That doesn't mean anything. You understand, big deal. You knew who I used to be, I would've tried to forget about me. So why? Why are you helping me?"

"Because those memories aren't just yours, they're mine too. And quite frankly I'd like to know if we share memories; if we do, then what I remember is real and I really want some of them to be real."

"So this is all for your benefit? You say you want me to remember but this is all for you." Bucky stood up and started walking backwards towards the door, he never broke eye contact. Riley thought he looked offended.

"Pardon my French, but what the actual fuck Bucky? I'm here to help you and in the process it helps me. It's called a win win situation. Do you really believe me to be so shallow? So ignorant?" It was Riley's turn to be offended, she couldn't believe that's how he felt. She wanted so desperately to help him, he just didn't see it.

"How would I know? I don't even know who I am, let alone who you are." He looked forlorn as he said this, like it actually hurt to admit he had no idea who he was, Riley could feel her heart break for the poor man.

"And that's why I'm here Bucky. Jesus, this is all for you."

"I'm sorry, I just don't know how to act to someone caring about me."

"You're getting sappy on me, Soldier."

"What can I say? I'm a mess." The smile on his face suggested he was joking but his eyes told Riley otherwise.

"I thought it was sweet."

"Really?"

"Yeah, about as sweet as pizza." Bucky laughed at her sarcasm.

"I don't think I've ate pizza in 70 years." Riley's eyes widened.

"We have to change that right now."

"Riley, it's literally three o'clock in the morning. Where are you going to get pizza?"

"Shit you're right, let's get some tomorrow."

Riley felt herself yawn and stretched out her body, suddenly aware of the lack of sleeping space for Bucky. Looking around she sighed.

"I'll take the floor, you can have the bed. I'll have to apologize in advance though, it's lumpy and you can feel the springs in it. I couldn't sleep on something comfortable..." She let herself trail off, trying not to ruin the light mood they had finally recreated.

"Because you don't think you deserve to sleep on something soft." Bucky finished her thought, she nodded.

"Anyways, the bathroom is over there," she pointed. "and the kitchen is over there but there isn't a lot of food in there, enough for a snack maybe. If you need anything during the night just wake me up."

Bucky nodded and went into the bathroom, telling her he was going to shower. She would never tell him (she's trying desperately to be hospitable) but she could've cheered at that, he smelled like a wet dog that had crawled out of a sewer. Hydra wasn't keen on showers, she knew that. They didn't want to waste the time before a mission and if they were on a particularly long mission they would skip a shower in fear of the assets being out of the cryochamber too long. God forbid they remember something. But if they were lucky and they had a short and successful mission they were rewarded with a sponge bath. It was better than nothing.

Riley sat back down on the dingy chair of the worn out table that doubled as her dining table and couch (she had managed to stand up at some point in her argument with Bucky), going through the events of the day in her head. She found the infamous Winter Soldier, he was in her hideout right now, he actually wanted to stay with her. If what the Smithsonian said was true, and James Buchanan Barnes was the Winter Soldier, and if she played her cards right then maybe, just maybe, she would get her Bucky back and he would give her Riley back.

She didn't realize how lost in thought she was until she heard the door open and Bucky walk out. She pretended not to notice that he only had a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Uh, you don't happen to have clothes?"

Riley rolled her eyes for the hundredth time that day, "Yes because I have tons of clothes that would fit you from all my ex-boyfriends laying around." She sighed. "No, I don't have clothes for you. Tomorrow we'll stop and get you some on the way out."

"Are we leaving?" Bucky asked, confused as to why we would do that. (This is a safe-house after all, right?)

"Yeah. I've been in the same spot for too long, gotta keep moving; perks of being a Hydra fugitive."

"Where to?"

"New York."

"What's in New York?"

"Everything we need to help you."


	6. 1.5 : " THAT NIGHT STILL HAUNTS MY DREAMS "

James was missing. He was gone, and Riley wasn't just going to sit at the base and wait for Captain America to bring him back.

She loved Steve and she believed he was enhanced to help, hell she's half the reason they even had the serum to inject in him, but she didn't want some comic book propaganda character out there, being the one to bring her love back to her, it didn't matter who was behind the mask.

She wasn't useless, she told Steve that. He insisted she would only distract him, that he would be too worried about her to complete the mission. Which was bullshit in Riley's humble opinion, Steve's always concerned about everyone, she wouldn't add to that at all.

He didn't protest when she and Peggy said they could get him to the base though, the bastard.

She knew she could help and that's what made her angry.

If Steve failed, if Bucky didn't come back, and Riley could've done something (and she knew she could) it was her fault.

She wanted to jump out after Steve.

Peggy could tell, she stopped her right before she could.

"Peg please. You know I can handle myself and I'd be helpful to the mission."

"I can't let you do this Ri, you were put into the science program for a reason.

"And I trained to be a soldier before that. God dammit Peggy you're the one that trained me. I know what I'm doing, I'm an agent. I would be a soldier right now if you and Howard didn't bribe me into taking the science position."

"Your emotions are getting in the way."

Riley couldn't argue with that. She wanted to point out that Steve's were too but she decided against it, Peggy's bitchface wasn't worth it.

"The love of my life is in the facility my cousin and best friend just went into without backup. I can't sit by and just let them die. If they do then guess what Peggy, that's on me. I'm not going to let that happen."

"If I may add," Howard spoke up for the first time since Steve jumped. "we haven't gone that far from the base, I can get closer, she might be able to catch up with Steve."

"I don't need your consent Peggy, I'm doing this."

"I know Ri." Peggy pulled her best friend into a hug, "Be safe please."

"Alright Howard, get me to that hell hole."

\--

It took a lot longer to get to the base than Howard originally planned. There were bombers ready for them when they made the first pass, and even Riley could tell it was too dangerous to jump, so they waited them out and on the second pass she jumped.

Now she was running into the Hydra facility, she could see what looked like members of the 107th fighting Hydra soldiers and Nazis, and even though she wanted to continue to find Steve and Bucky, she knew she was needed on the battlefield.

She immediately jumped into action and let her soldier instincts take over.

She jumped on the back of an unsuspecting guard and flung him to the ground, using her handheld to shoot him before he could even think of retaliation. She grabbed the blue glowing gun from the soldier. She saw others with them and figured it leveled the playing field.

She shot the mysterious gun at another guard and gasped when it caused the man to disintegrate.

She wanted to drop the gun, believing no one should be able to do something like that with one shot of a firearm. But Riley wasn't stupid, she knew dropping a weapon that powerful would be suicide.

She continued to use it, it didn't take long to ignore the guilt that came with annihilating the guards.

She almost forgot about her original mission.

Almost.

She started to make her way to the base once she had the go ahead from another soldier.

But when she started making it into the facility a bomb went off. Then another. And another.

The blast from the initial bomb blew her almost back into the woods. She was immobilized. The crash had broken one of her legs and her head had banged against the tree hard enough to ensure at least a mild concussion.

Consciousness was not something Riley could seem to hold on to.

She kept drifting, never fully leaving but rarely staying.

"It's her. It's the girl we've been looking for."

Riley could feel herself being picked up.

The last thing Riley saw was a glimpse of a red, white, and blue shield slung over someones shoulders and another figure limping beside them.

Riley smiled slightly to herself.

Her boys were free.

Her mission was complete.

\--

When she finally woke up she felt different.

Something was wrong.

She tried to sit up but there were restraints blocking her from moving at all.

The first thought that came into her mind was if she was dead, but she could sense everything around her, she was alive.

The second thought was if Bucky and Steve were alive, she pressed to remember if she saw them. She let out a cry of pain as she saw a flash of red, white, and blue in her mind. At least she remembered seeing them leave.

She then wondered why it hurt to remember, she couldn't put much thought into it before her attention was drawn to the doors that had opened and the short man with glasses and a lab coat that had walked through.

"Welcome, Riley. I'm Doctor Zola. I'm sure you're confused so allow me to explain what's happened. We couldn't recreate the serum that you helped create, but we did create a similar one. You've been injected with our own Super Soldier Serum as well as a few other things that will make you.... unique. Now you may feel some pain soon, but we have to make sure this works right?" The man let a creepy smile overtake his features.

Riley felt something metal bang against her head. Pain was immediate and plentiful.

She let out a scream.

\----

Someone was shaking her.

"Riley wake up. Riley. RILEY!"

She heard someone screaming, she didn't realize it was her.

When she opened her eyes but she didn't see the Winter Soldier staring at her like she expected to.

She saw James Barnes looking at her with concern filled eyes and she couldn't help but reach up and wrap her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

She could tell he wasn't fully comfortable with the hug she forced upon him, but even though she knew she should let him go since she was pushing him into this, she couldn't bring herself to let him go.

He pulled way and looked at her.

"Are you okay?"

Riley nodded. "Nightmare. The night I was captured."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No."

Bucky nodded and took her back in his arms, this time more relaxed into it even though he wasn't 100% comfortable.

Neither spoke, neither moved.

They just sat, embracing each other until the sun rose and they knew they had to leave.

\----

"You got enough clothes to last you at least a week right?"

Nod.

"And the pants I asked for?"

A head tilt to the bag sitting on the floorboards of the rusted out truck.

"And you threw away the card you used?"

Another nod.

Riley sighed, she couldn't handle him not speaking to her anymore.

"Are you going to say anything to me?"

It was Bucky's turn to sigh. "M'sorry, just tired."

Riley bowed her head at that. "Okay, I'll admit that was my bad, sorry. You can sleep on the way."

"But you have to be tired too. I can stay up, keep you company, wouldn't want you to fall asleep and crash."

"It's only four hours minimum, five max. I can handle it."

"Yeah but you don't have to."

Riley gave him a smile and pulled out of the mall's parking lot.

Bucky didn't even make it through the five minutes it took to get to the highway.

Riley reached over and turned on the radio but kept it quiet enough to were it wouldn't wake him. Bucky was right about one thing, she didn't need to fall asleep while driving, that'd be tragic. But she did need music if she wanted to stay awake.

Not only that but Riley still couldn't handle silence.

Silence left time for her to think freely. And that was a path that only lead to self destruction which her and Bucky definitely didn't need.

7 minutes down, 113 to go.

Riley looked out the windshield and quietly sang along to the songs on the radio, even if she didn't know them.


	7. 1.6 : " I WON'T KEEP CHASING GHOSTS "

"Bucky."

Silence.

"Bucky."

Silence.

"BUCKY!"

Bucky shot up from his uncomfortable position in the passenger seat of the beat down truck with his arms raised in a fighting stance. If they were who they used to be, Riley would've laughed and made fun of Bucky for being so on edge. But they weren't them anymore, and Bucky had plenty of reason to be on edge.

"At ease Soldier, Jesus. I was just letting you know we're here."

They had actually been in New York City for hours, Riley just didn't tell Bucky because he was finally sleeping and she still felt bad for waking him up in the middle of the night. Stupid nightmares. She couldn't handle it anymore though, she wanted to leave the stupid truck and find somewhere to eat and pee.

"Oh, what time is it?" Bucky asked, eyes half closed and voice still deep and raspy from sleep.

"One. You've been asleep for the last six hours."

"You should've woke me up."

"Too late. Let's go, I'm starving."

"Only if we get pizza."

"Of fucking course."

Bucky smiled and stepped out of the truck. Riley was happy to finally stretch her legs, she didn't stop driving since they left DC and she didn't want to risk waking Bucky up when they arrived two hours ago so she parked the truck and sat. She wished she would've slept but sleep never came.

"What are you waiting for?" Bucky called from the other side of the truck.

Riley rolled her eyes and muttered impatient son of a bitch under her breath before walking off, hoping Bucky would be smart enough to follow.

\----

[Steve's POV]

"I don't know what to do anymore, Nat. We've looked everywhere. We can't find him."

Steve shyed away from Natasha's sympathetic stare. He knew what she would say, that the hunt for Barnes needed to stop, that there were more pressing (and present) matters that needed their attention, that there was Avenging that needed done. He made a mental note to tell Stark of the tagline he just created, it would look nice on a shirt.

Steve couldn't help it though, Bucky was his best friend, he needed to find him and help him. Who else could? Who else even would?

"Steve -"

"Save it Nat." Regardless of his sour mood, Steve held the door to the pizza joint open for Natasha.

"You know I can open doors," Nat said with a roll of her eyes and a smug smile.

"Force of habit."

"I guess chivalry isn't so dead after all."

They sat down and Steve surveyed the area, cautious of everyone in there; perks of the job, always on the lookout for evil.

There were only two other parties in the restaurant.

One was a family and the other was a couple.

Nothing to be suspicious of.

The waitress came over and took their order, Steve was still lost in thought.

"I know you don't want to hear it Steve, but maybe we should pause the manhunt, not stop, pause. Stark is going to implode if we miss even one more meeting. I'm tired of chasing ghosts Steve. Sam is too, he just won't tell you that." Steve sighed, she had a point, she always did.

"Okay Nat we'll s-"

Steve made eye contact with the man from the couple across from them. It was him.

He found Bucky.

Steve wanted to laugh at how ironic it was that he found him just when he agreed to stop looking for him, and at how amusing it was to find him in a pizza shop in New York City.

Bucky must have recognized him because his face visibly paled and he immediately stood up to leave, the girl he was with following him and still talking to him.

"Nat it was him. It was Bucky."

Steve ran out after him with Natasha on his heels. His mind didn't process what was happening, he just ran.

\-----

"Bucky why are we running?" Riley stopped for half a second, trying to catch her breath. She would never admit it, but running was never her forte, she was trained to stay and fight. Plus it had been ages since she ran, or even trained for that matter. Not since her last mission.

She was quick to push the thoughts of her last mission out of her head, now was not the time to deal with that.

"Didn't you see him? It was Steve, he was there."

"Well why didn't you just say so, come on!" She grabbed his hand and lead him through the crowd.

In the back of Riley's mind she knew that Steve stumbling upon them could be a blessing in disguise, but she knew Bucky wasn't ready to see him. Hell, she wasn't ready to see him.

Riley pulled him to the left into an abandoned ally when she felt a wave of electricity go through her.

She dropped to her knees and pulled an unsuspecting Bucky down with her.

"What the hell was that?" Riley looked up to see the infamous Black Widow staring down at her.

"Sorry for that, had to get you down somehow. I'm wearing heels, kind of a running disadvantage."

"Bucky." The voice of Steve Rogers made Riley's heart stop and her blood run cold. It wasn't time, she wasn't ready, she couldn't see her cousin, he couldn't know she was alive, he couldn't find out who she had become.

Riley considered running then.

The two women stepped aside, watching the interaction between the two men.

Riley kept her head down, trying to avoid looking at Steve. As far as she knew he had no idea Hydra captured her so long ago and she was Devastation, and she'd like to keep it that way.

She was still contemplating running away.

"Riley." The sound of Bucky's broken whisper made her look up.

She couldn't leave Bucky, he needed her.

"Wait, Riley!?"

"Hey cous." Riley offered Steve a shaky smile.

\----

After the unfortunate meeting in the ally, Steve demanded Riley and Bucky go with them to Stark Tower. They had followed, there really wasn't a choice in the matter.

"Okay, I can't do it anymore. How the hell are you alive and why are you two with each other?" Steve sat down on the couch across from the one Riley and Bucky were sitting on.

"You sure are getting demanding in your old age Steve." Riley joked, trying to lighten the mood. When Steve didn't laugh she sighed and continued after glancing at Bucky, she knew he wasn't going to like this, "Remember that night when Peggy, Howard, and I flew you to the Hydra facility to save Bucky and you wouldn't let me help because I was a distraction? Yeah you really didn't think I would listen to you, right? Regardless, I went to help and I got captured by Zola, apparently they were trying to find me. I mean it makes sense, I helped create the Super Soldier Serum and they wanted it. They created a spin-off of it and guess who their test subject was? They made me into a weapon. They used me just like they used Bucky."

Steve was speechless and Bucky was confused. He didn't know anything that Riley had just said, or at least he didn't remember knowing that.

"Wait," he said, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "I'm the reason they turned you? You went to save me?" His face fell as he made a sudden realization, "Oh God, I'm James Barnes. I'm your James. That's why you were so keen on helping me. I'm him."

Riley slowly nodded and Bucky stood up.

"I gotta go. I can't -"

"No Buck, I told you I would help you with your memories and that's exactly what I'm going to do. If you leave, I leave. I can't - I won't let you be alone."

"You can stay here." Steve said suddenly, "Tony won't care, there are spare rooms, it wouldn't be a problem."

After looking at Bucky for confirmation, Riley nodded.

"Thanks Steve."

"Of course."


	8. 1.7 : " I NEED SOMEBODY I CAN HOLD "

Riley's fitful slumber was interrupted by a deep, and frankly heart tugging, scream.

Instantly Riley shot up, grabbed her pistol, and walked out the door towards the yell; stopping only briefly to pull some pants on. She slowly walked down the hall with her gun raised in the defensive position, just in case. She stopped outside of Bucky's door.

"No. No. No. Please. No." Could be heard from the outside.

Sighing, Riley put her gun in the waistband of her yoga pants, she knew what was going on in there and she knew she was needed.

"Buck? Wake up. It's a dream. It's just a dream, Bucky. Come on, wake up." She ran to him, shaking him, wishing he would wake up so the screaming and tears and self destructive words would stop.

All she wanted was for him to wake up. It was almost too painful to watch what was happening to him, to hear what his subconscious was saying about himself.

She didn't realize it, but somehow during her frantic shaking she ended up on top of Bucky, straddling him while cupping his face with her hands, willing for him to awaken.

He didn't know who she was when he was snapped out of his nightmare.

He didn't even know who he was.

Riley didn't see it coming when he threw her off him.

She didn't even think to make sure her gun was still in her waistband until she heard the safety click and look up to see it pointed at her head.

Well shit.

"Bucky? Hey, it's me. Snap out of it." She pleaded.

His metal arm was still while holding the gun but Riley could see his real arm shaking.

She could see the fear in his eyes, he didn't want to do this.

He couldn't help it, he was in Winter Soldier mode. She understood. Sometimes, if she was unlucky enough, when she woke up from her nightmares she was in Devastation mode and it took a second to get out of it.

"Bucky please." She knew she sounded pathetic, she knew she could fight him and win when he was in a state such as this; but this wasn't Bucky and Bucky didn't deserve that. Not when he couldn't fight back.

The gun fell from his hands.

"Ri?"

Tears started to fall from his cheeks and Riley felt what was left of her heart break a little more.

It had been 70 years since Bucky - or anyone really - had called her Ri.

And he sounded so broken when he did.

"It's me Buck. We're okay. We're safe."

"Oh my God, Ri."

"Shh, it's okay."

Riley had since jumped up and Bucky had pulled her into his arms. She was sure to kick the gun away from them both.

"What was it?" She asked after a few minutes of the silent embrace.

"Memories. Like a slideshow of the time we spent together. Meeting you, hating you, realizing I had a crush on you, kissing you for the first time, our first date, leaving, you never coming back, everything. I remember it all.

Riley was crying now too. She had wished he would remember her, she couldn't be happier. She ignored that there was a possibility he remembered her as Devastation, she would deal with that later. She just wanted her Bucky back.

"Do you want me to leave?" Riley asked hoping, maybe even praying, that he would say no, that he would let her stay with him. She pulled away from him.

"Hell no."

Riley smiled and sat down on the bed, patting beside her as a way to request him to sit down.

"Shouldn't we talk about this?" Bucky questioned.

Riley knew they should and she could tell Bucky had a lot to say but before she could agree she let out a yawn.

"Tomorrow. You woke me up, I'm tired."

\----

"Aw Steve, look at them." Riley had never heard that voice before.

"No Sam, I had to deal with this everyday in the 40s, I'm not dealing with it now."

Who the hell was Sam?

A flash woke Riley up for good. She groaned

"Tony really?" Was that Natasha?

"Okay, who the fuck just took a picture of me?" Riley grumbled.

"Wow, happy camper in the morning, aren't we? I did. You guys looked adorable, plus you slept here so you owe me one."

"Owed." Riley corrected.

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

Riley sat up and looked around. Four people other than her and Bucky were standing in the room looking at them. Well except Steve, he was staring at the wall but he was there.

Riley reached over and, against her better judgement, flicked Bucky in the back of the head, effectively waking him up. He looked upset to be woken up, at least he wasn't pointing a gun at her this time.

"It could be worse, gotta find all the positives these days" she thought.

"Not that it's not cute, because it is, but can I ask why two assassins are cuddling in my guest room?"

"Have you never needed someone to hold, Mr. Stark?" Riley rolled her eyes, this wasn't Iron Man's business or anyone's for that matter.

"I don't like touching."

"Hate to break up the moment but there's a meeting you guys need to attend." Nat sat at the door rolling her eyes, clearly done with the situation.

Riley stood up and Tony smirked.

"Hey Riley, it's Riley isn't it? Why aren't you wearing pants?"

"It's July, asshat. I was hot."

\----

"So let me get this straight, you want two assassins -"

"Ex-assassins." Bucky corrected, Riley rolled her eyes.

"Yes Bucky, ex-assassins. Anyways; you want two ex-assassins that could still be controlled by Hydra, who are still trying to get all their memories back, who could snap at any second, to join the Avengers? You want criminals to join a network to stop criminals? I mean trust me, I want to leave all that behind and jump back into being a soldier for good but I don't know if I can be trusted to serve and protect anymore."

"I've know you guys for like a hundred years. I can see your old personalities shining through. You guys can do this. You said you want redemption, here's your chance."

Steve was so God damned determined and he had the same look in his eyes that he had when they were joining the army that Riley wasn't surprised when she heard herself agree despite what she had just said; he looked like the scrawny kid in Brooklyn who just wanted to help the world.

She was surprised, however, when Bucky disagreed. She thought that if she fell for Steve's childlike look, Bucky would be toast. Apparently 70 years apart made Bucky grow some tolerance to Steve's charm.

"I - I can't. I can't even take care of myself yet, let alone be apart of a team. I can't do it. Not yet."

Riley nodded her head, agreed with Bucky. He wasn't ready.

"You can still stay, I have a feeling Riley would leave if I kicked you out."

"Thanks for your hospitality, Stark." Riley sassed, rolling her eyes.

"I'd get to training if I were you." Sam said, "I think Nat would like a go at you and from what I heard, you're out of practice."

Natasha opened her mouth to object, but Riley had cut her off before she could start.

"Is that a challenge Wilson?" Riley smiled anyways. Even though she had just met Sam, she really liked him. She could tell they would get along.

Riley walked out of the meeting room and only made it halfway down the hall before she realized she left Bucky in there.

She half-jogged back.

"Hey Buck, come with. I need a training partner."

Bucky was quick to accept her offer and practically ran out of the room causing Riley to laugh. She saluted the group of Avengers in the room and ran after Bucky.

She was beginning to feel like she finally belonged somewhere.


	9. 1.8 : " GAVE YOU MY HEART AND SOUL "

"I gotta ask," Riley started between dodging punches thrown by Bucky, "what made you deny Steve? Because when he looked at me with those passion filled eyes it was like I was Riley from the 1940s ready to follow him to the end of the world and beyond."

He let out a huff of air after Riley knocked his legs out and sent him down to the padded ground of the training room.

"I don't know. I felt like James Barnes from 1943, ready to fight along side him until I died. But then I remembered that I'm technically dead. I had already fought until death with him. And it was like someone knocked me in the back of the head and said 'never again' so I said no. Is it crazy to wish I agreed? " Bucky had stood up and resumed fighting while he was talking, but was pulling his punches as he spoke.

Riley used his hesitation against him to knock him down again.

"No, I think it's perfectly normal. I mean I agreed to certain death for a second time? What's more crazy than that?"

"Okay, I'm done with hand to hand combat." Bucky said after he let out a groan of pain.

"Oh come on! Can't handle a little roughness?" She said while she straddled him in order to give her leverage to keep him pinned to the ground.

"Depends on what kind." Bucky said with a suggestive smirk, Riley rolled her eyes.

"Jesus, you really are James from the 40s."

"Anything for you doll."

Riley didn't realize how close their faces had become.

And she didn't even try to stop herself from leaning in.

Neither did Bucky.

Riley ignored the searing pain in the back of her head, signaling the surface of a memory, when their lips collided.

\----

Riley was ran around to the back of the school trying, and failing, to find Bucky.

Steve wanted Riley to remind Bucky of their movie plans tonight but when school ended Bucky was no where to be seen.

She caught a glimpse of short and dark hair, knowing it was Bucky's Riley ran towards it but stopped suddenly when she saw him with someone else.

He was leaning against a tree, doing more than talking to a girl Riley recognized as Cassandra (she sat behind her in math).

Riley had always seen Bucky as family, he was off limits, and even though she felt butterflies when he was around her she ignored them for Steve's sake. It would be awkward if his cousin and best friend were a couple, especially since they were all so close.

She was also well aware of Bucky's tenancies with women.

But that doesn't mean this didn't sting.

And damn, did it sting.

As she wiped away a stray tear, Bucky noticed her.

"Hey Ri. Did you need something?"

"Yeah, um. Steve wanted me to remind you about movie night."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

\--

"Steve I don't know if I should go." Riley started, Steve knew there was something wrong with her the moment he saw her. And Riley couldn't lie to Steve, he knew her too well. She had spilled the beans three seconds after Steve asked her what was wrong.

"Bull crap, you're coming. You wouldn't leave me all alone with Bucky would you?"

"What if he's not alone?"

"Oh come on Ri, he wouldn't do that."

Riley sighed when Bucky rolled up in his car. No backing out now she thought as Steve climbed in the back, leaving her with the passenger seat.

When they got to the drive in the tension in the car was almost visible.

Which is why Steve jumped at the opportunity to leave to get popcorn from the concession. He left before Riley could volunteer to join him. She knew it was partially on purpose, the little bastard.

Bucky reached over and turned the radio dial down.

"Ri... I don't know how to put this poetically so I'm just going to say it. I really like you, like a lot. And I know what you're thinking; 'How can you like me when you were just with Cassandra?' but let me explain, that was all just a ploy to see how you'd react. Swear it was, ask her if you must. And don't think I missed the jealousy that flashed in your eyes or the single tear you thought you wiped away before I saw."

Riley looked down at her hands that were folded together on her lap. She was suddenly interested in all the little details of the car, like the dark spot on the floorboard and how easy it would be to leave the car and run for the hills. She was also hyper-aware of how close the two had become in the small cab.

She knew she should be mad at Bucky. He had played her after all, but she saw past that in her state of shock. Her mind was reeling on the fact that James Buchanan Barnes liked her. She couldn't fathom it.

Plus it was Bucky, she could never stay mad at him, no matter what it was he did.

"Just say something. Anything. Please."

Instead of saying anything, Riley let instincts (and nerves) take over, she leaned in and pressed her lips to Bucky's. He pulled away a little too soon for Riley's liking.

"Does this mean you like me too?"

"Shut up and kiss me Barnes."

"Anything for you doll."

\----

Someone clearing their throat broke the couple apart.

"I'm pretty sure when Tony said train that's not what he meant." the voice of Natasha came from the doorway, it was obvious that she was annoyed. Riley had never seen or talked to the girl, partially on purpose (she knew what the Black Widow could do, and she wasn't going to take her chances), but she was beginning to think Natasha lived in a constant state of annoyed.

Riley stood up and nodded to Natasha and Steve as she left the room, leaving Bucky laying on the ground.

"Dude what happened?" Steve asked.

"I'm honestly not sure."

\----

Knocking at her door caused Riley to pause the tv and groan.

She was sore from training and wanted time to relax for herself, plus she had found all the Star Wars movies in the Library of Movies. That's not what Stark called it, but Riley was sure she had never seen so many movies in her life, she was happy about it though.

Unfortunately for her, no one seemed to care for "me time" in this damn tower.

She opened the door and planned on cursing out whoever the poor soul was who decided to interrupt her until she saw that it was Bucky

She blushed instead. (Which made her mad. Why did her body react like that? It was just Bucky aka the love of her previous life, no big deal. Right?)

"I was wondering if we could talk?"

"Uh yeah of course. Come on in."

Riley lead Bucky to the bed and they both sat down.

She stared at the door, she heavily considered running out the door and leaving this conversation before it could start.

But then she caught Bucky's stare.

She couldn't leave him. Goddamn.

They were in the midst of an awkward silence and Riley figured Bucky keeping quiet was the signal for her to start.

"I'm sorry for kissing you in the gym. It was uncalled for and I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't have pushed you into that. I mean, I'm not ready for anything like that yet so there's no way you are. And I know that you remember me now, which is great trust me I couldn't be happier, but that doesn't mean that we have to go back to the way we were. We're different now, we aren't the same James and Riley that we were in the 40s. I just - "

"Riley stop rambling. I know what you mean. But don't apologize. I just didn't want anything to be awkward between us. But I do remember you. I remember what we were and I get this feeling when I think about it. I've never felt anything like it before. Or, I mean, I'm sure I have I just don't remember it. But I know I want that feeling again. And I know we aren't ready so don't feel rushed. I just want you to know what I'm feeling."

Bucky smiled and dropped his head.

"I'm talking to you like you're my therapist. I'm sorry." he confessed.

Riley reached forward and grabbed Bucky's hand, intertwining their fingers, and smiled.

"Wanna watch A New Hope with me? I would suggest Empire Strikes Back but you might want to watch this one first."

"Hey Riley?" she hummed in response. "Why does that say episode 4? Shouldn't you start with the first one?"

Riley smiled. "You still have a lot to learn buddy."

\----

Riley didn't make it through A New Hope. 

She fell asleep as Luke and Obi Wan were playing Leia's message.

It was pathetic, she knew. But she was tired and Bucky was warm and actually a really nice pillow.

She was quick to express her disappointment when Bucky woke her up.

"Can you put in the next one?"

"Why can't you do it?"

"Because they aren't in order and I don't understand."

Riley sighed and over dramatically threw the blanket off her and marched up to the tv. 

"You know, technologically speaking, Stark has all these advanced gadgets why hasn't he created one where you don't have to get up to change the movie?" Riley threw her hands in the air as she was speaking, adding to her fit as well as causing Bucky to chuckle.

"Why don't you ask him that?"

"You know what? Maybe I will!" Riley started to storm out the door.

Bucky was quick to stop her.

"Not now, come back and watch the movie with me."

If one thing hadn't changed in the last 70 years, it was that Bucky could get Riley to do almost anything just by saying his request like it would make him the happiest person on the planet.

So Riley laid back down with him and started the movie. 

She fell asleep again but Bucky didn't wake her when the movie ended.

She didn't know it, but before he fell asleep, Bucky looked down at her with a loving smile and kissed the top of her head.

He knew that she wasn't ready, and he knew he wasn't either, but he wasn't going to push his feelings away. Never again.


	10. 1.9 : " THOUGHT I WAS CHASING LOVE "

When Riley woke up Bucky wasn't beside her.

She had to calm herself down because her mind jumps to conclusions far too quickly to be considered healthy.

She had to remind herself that there was literally no reason for him to stay with her overnight. (Which hurt more than she was willing to admit.)

She practically ran to the kitchen regardless.

She could feel the sigh of relief leave her lungs when she saw Bucky sitting at the counter with a bowl in his hands.

Sam was standing at the sink.

"Sam can you hand me a spoon?"

"Sorry, they're all dirty," Riley had to hold back a laugh as Sam put a handful of clean spoons in the drawer while Bucky tilted his head to the left.

"But you just - "

"Dirty."

Bucky looked over and smiled widely when he saw Riley standing at the doorway.

"Hey Ri, I didn't want to wake you."

"It's fine. Did you finish Empire Strikes Back?"

They held a small conversation as Riley poured cereal into a bowl and sat down beside him.

"Hey Wilson, I forgot a spoon!" She called, hoping he would get her one instead of lying like he did to Bucky.

"Here you go." he said as he handed Riley a spoon from the drawer.

"What the fu-"

Bucky was cut off by Steve walking into the room.

"Riley! Sam! You're needed in the meeting room. Avengers bussiness and all that. Buck you can come too if you want."

Riley sighed, grabbed her bowl, and stood up.

"Are you really going to take your breakfast in there?"

"Well excuse me Rogers, but if I'm needed now I'm going to have to bring my food with me. You don't want me to starve do you?"

Steve shook his head and lead the way. Bucky stayed back.

"It's really not my business, I'm not an Avenger y'know?"

The three Avengers nodded in understanding and started down the hall.

"You can finish Star Wars if you want!" Riley called over her shoulder.

\----

The meeting was boring.

Tony was talking about things Riley didn't understand, Sam was drawing on the table with his finger, Natasha was staring at the wall like she had better things to do, and Steve was the only one paying attention.

Overachiever.

Riley briefly wondered where the other Avengers were, she knew there were more of them.

What about Banner and the arrow guy and the god?

How did they loose track of all these people?

Riley was slowly realizing the Avengers were a mess.

This group was always changing, they were rarely ever together, they seemed worn out honestly.

And she didn't like it. Not one bit.

Riley had been an Avenger for 20 hours and was already doubting her choices.

She'd have to talk to Steve about that.

Apparently the meeting had ended.

Riley was still just as clueless as she was before the meeting. She didn't even know what the point of the meeting was.

She grabbed her now empty bowl and dashed to the kitchen.

She wanted to find Bucky.

At least she understood him.

At least he was a constant.

Riley went to 'her' room. She guessed Bucky would be there, watching Star Wars.

She was wrong.

Her next stop was his room, which was empty when she got there.

She was starting to get worried, but knew there were still many rooms to check.

She went to the gym next. He still wasn't there.

After an entire hour of searching for him, Riley had to push aside a panic attack.

She had lost Bucky.

What the hell?

How do you just lose a full grown man?

She really wanted to bang her head off the wall.

She went back into her room. Maybe if she swept through the tower again she would find him.

Instead of finding Bucky she found a letter laying on her bed.

Riley,

If you're reading this I actually left. I've been thinking about it since yesterday. I don't belong here. I'm not an Avenger, I'm not even good. I can't be here and just watch you do whatever it is that they'll make you do. I can't just sit by and watch you do good in the world while I watch movies.

I can't watch you live a good life and forget about me.

It's selfish and stupid but I don't care.

I need to do this.

Don't come find me.

You deserve this. Even if that means you don't help me.

And that's okay, because you've already helped me and I can manage fine on my own.

We both know that's a lie, but I'll manage.

-B

Riley felt an involuntary tear slip down her cheek.

She wiped it away quickly, appalled at the sign of weakness.

He ran away, he wasn't dead.

He was okay.

But that didn't mean Riley was okay with him being on his own.

She was going to find him.

\----

Riley was marching out the door when someone finally tried to stop her.

"Riley where are you going?"

She turned around to face Steve.

"Bucky's gone. He ran away and I have to find him."

"Wait, let me help."

"Steve I know you don't want to hear this but it's best if it's just me. I think being here overwhelmed him and he really wasn't ready to see you again."

Steve sighed but nodded. He knew Riley was right, he shouldn't have thought it would be so easy to fall back into the brotherhood they used to share.

"Why does Riley look like she's moving out already?" Tony came out of nowhere, looking slightly hurt.

"Bucky left and I'm going to find him."

"Were you not listening in the meeting? I literally told you you need to stay here."

"One, no I was not listening. Two, I'm not letting you put me under house arrest. If I have to quit I will. It's not like I've been on any missions where people know who I am. It was a rash decision, I don't want to be here if that means Bucky is on his own. I'm responsible for him."

"You don't have to quit. You weren't ever really an Avenger anyways."

Riley left directly after hearing that. She didn't know why her heart broke a little at Tony's words. They were true.

She had only met half of the Avengers anyways, and it wasn't like they were friends.

She managed to be at the tower for two weeks, time went by fast there, it only felt like a few days.

Maybe that was because she was happy there. Sure she didn't really feel like she belonged, but it felt safe. And she wasn't sure when the last time she felt safe was.

She did know that Bucky was a priority, and she was going to find him if it was the last thing she did.

\----

{Bucky}

He let the Winter Soldier take over.

If there was one thing it was good at, it was getting off the grid.

No one would find him if he was the Soldier.

And that's what he wanted.

Wasn't it?

The further away Bucky got from Stark Tower the more unsure he was of his decision.

He shouldn't have left Riley like that. It wasn't fair to her. He was being a selfish asshole, but maybe that would make her not come after him.

There was a little voice in the back of his head telling him he was an idiot if he thought she wouldn't come after him.

They had only known each other as Riley and Bucky for two weeks but he knew how protective she could be.

He would never understand why she wanted so much for him.

He didn't deserve redemption. He didn't deserve someone who cared about him. He didn't even deserve to be living.

But somehow Riley thought he did.

And that baffled him.

Which is why he had to leave.

He couldn't let his toxic thoughts ruin hers.

He wouldn't let himself be the person who ruined her.

\----

Riley stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

She had been tracking Bucky for the last hour, but soon realized her mistake.

He wouldn't be traveling as Bucky Barnes, he'd be traveling as the Winter Soldier.

And Riley would never be able to find the Winter Soldier.

But Devastation could.

She turned into an alley, she could do this.

Riley closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

She could do this.

She had to keep repeating that phrase quietly to herself, she'd have a panic attack if she did't.

She could be Devastation and not loose control.

It wasn't Hydra making her do this, it was Riley.

Riley was in control.

It was like Riley could feel Devastation take hold of her body and mind.

Like she was a separate soul taking possession of her.

Riley was still there though, just along for the ride while Devastation moved her feet forward.

She didn't have to think about where she was going, but she could sense she was on the right path.

She was going to find him. She wasn't going to let him be alone.


	11. 1.10 : " I WAS ONLY CHASING A GHOST "

Night was falling fast and Riley had yet to find Bucky.

She was starting to think she may have underestimated his ability to disappear.

Annoyed, Riley went into a diner. She hadn't eaten since the cereal this morning and it was staring to take a toll on her.

As she sat down, the phone Tony gave her the third day at the tower started to ring.

"Hello?"

"Riley we have a problem."

"Steve? What's going on? What's wrong?"

"Hydra."

Riley's heart skipped a beat and her blood ran cold. She darted out of the diner, her had lost her appetite as well.

"What do you mean Hydra? Are they here? Can they find me? Explain!"

"I think it'd be easier if you came to the tower."

"I'm on my way."

Riley didn't remember walking to the tower.

Her mind was swarming with anxiety, paranoia, fear.

She was terrified.

What if Hydra got her again?

She didn't think she would be able to escape a second time.

Hell, she didn't even know if she would survive being Hydra's play toy again.

She went through literal hell there, she couldn't go back.

What if they get Bucky?

She didn't know what she would do if they took him. He gave her a purpose, something to do other than to just survive.

She couldn't lose him.

"Where the hell is Steve?" Riley yelled as soon as she stepped into the tower.

"Riley I'm going to need you to calm down because you aren't going to like what you're about to hear." Sam told her with his hands raised in the "I surrender" position.

"Sam. Take me to Steve or I swear I will tear this goddamn tower down with my eyes closed."

"Didn't I say calm? Come on."

Riley was not in the mood to play games, Tony was the first to learn that when Sam lead her to the meeting room.

"There's the little genius."

"Shut the fuck up Stark." she spat. She turned to Steve, completely ignoring the new faces in the room. "What the hell is happening?"

"They have him."

Riley felt the world stop and she was pretty sure her heart was in her shoes.

"Come again?"

"Hydra took Bucky."

"H-How do you know?" Riley had to remind herself to keep her emotions in check, this was not the time to breakdown.

"They sent a video."

"Let me see it."

"Riley I strongly suggest you don't - "

"And I strongly suggest you keep your fucking mouth shut and show me the video." She turned around and cut Tony off, he was really starting to get on her nerves and she was starting to strongly consider the best way to shut him up.

Steve sighed and turned the video on.

Riley felt her heart crash when she saw Bucky tied down on the metal chair with the Memory Stealer (as her and Bucky named it forever ago) attached to him.

"No." she whispered as she heard Bucky scream.

She completely ignored that he let her name slip or that an agent ran off camera, presumably to tell everyone Devastation was out there, and focused on Bucky.

They took his identity away again.

They took his memories away again.

They turned a good man back into their puppet again.

And Riley swore then she was going to kill every Hydra worker on the planet.

"Riley I'm going to ask you to watch it again. Watch the surroundings, tell me if you recognize where he's at."

For the first time since she's met him, Riley listen to Tony and rewatched the clip.

The walls did seem familiar, the voices sounded familiar, and suddenly she knew where they were.

"They took him to Ohio."

"Do you know where exactly?"

"Not really, but I have an idea."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Natasha stood up, Riley just now realized she was there. "Let's go get him."'

\----

Flying with the Avengers was weird.

Riley really didn't want to be with Stark more than necessary, Natasha still seemed shut off to the idea of her, she didn't know anyone else and really didn't want to.

She was left to sit with Sam and Steve, which she was okay with.

"Okay, so here's the plan. I'll go find Bucky and you guys can do all the Avenging or whatever it is that you do." Riley was hoping they'd go for it. It's not like they knew their way around the base, technically she didn't either but she ignored that. If she was being honest with herself, she wanted to be alone because she wasn't sure if Devastation would make an appearance, and if she did no one needed to see that. She didn't want these people to lock her up.

"That's a horrible plan."

"You have a better one Spangles?"

Steve rolled his eyes at the nickname while Sam snickered.

"Yeah how about you don't go into a Hydra facility alone and you let us help. Me, you, and Sam can go find Bucky while the others fight off the agents there."

"I have an even better idea." Sam interrupted.

"Hit us with it."

"Well there's going to be prisoners there right?" Riley nodded and Sam continued, "Okay so Nat, Clint, and Tony can fight off the agents, the three of us stick together until we get to where the prisoners are being kept, me and Steve will get them while Riley gets Bucky. Then we all get the hell out of Dodge and we all live happily ever after."

"That's actually not a bad idea." Riley said, she could see Steve's frown and sighed. "I can handle myself Steve, you do realize that right?"

"You do realize last time you said that you got captured by Hydra."

"Fair point, but if you would've agreed before I had to sneak in I wouldn't've."

Steve sighed in defeat. Riley silently cheered.

"Wheels down in 5, suit up everyone."

Riley was lacing up her black combat boots when Steve walked back in.

She stood up and threw on a jacket with the Avengers logo on it.

"Ready?"

Riley nodded and looked down at herself.

She was wearing Devastation's "suit" which consisted of a tight fitting top, tights, and combat boots, all in black.

She had to remind herself that she was Riley, and Riley could do whatever the hell she wanted. She wasn't being controlled. She could do this.

\----

Riley looked around and made sure all the Avengers were hidden.

Letting out a deep breath she walked up to the two guards.

Their guns were immediately pointed at her.

Her face stayed blank as she looked at the men.

They lowered their weapons when they recognized her.

When they turned around to radio the others and inform them of her, Riley grabbed them by their necks and flipped herself forward, her grip causing the two to flip forward and lose consciousness at impact.

She opened the gates and motioned for the rest of the team to follow her.

They were going in guns blazing and not stopping until their mission was completed.

No stealth was involved.

When Riley opened the doors and smiled at the shock on the agents faces.

"I'm back, bitches."

Steve started calling out orders and there was immediate chaos.

Fortunately the only people falling were wearing the Hydra emblem.

Riley, Sam, and Steve managed to get out of the entrance and through the building.

Riley was quick to leave the trio.

She was now flying solo, trying to find Bucky before anyone could find her.

She poked her head through a room and saw a figure laying on the metal chair.

"My name is Bucky. My name is Bucky."

Riley could barely hear the repeated phrase, but she heard it and it brought tears to her eyes.

"Bucky?" She leaned over him, looking in his eyes.

"De- Riley? You're Riley?"

"Yeah Buck, I'm Riley. And I'm here to get you out."

Riley was taking off the bindings when someone came through the door. They grabbed her.

"Our very own Devastation, here with the Avengers. I can't believe it."

Riley opened her mouth and bit down as hard as she could.

The man holding her jumped back with a yelp.

"Bitch!"

Riley punched him in the nose.

While he stumbled back Riley undid another strap.

The man was starting towards her again.

"желание" Desire.

"No. Never again."

Riley went to kick him but he grabbed her ankle.

"разрушенный" Destroyed.

"NO!"

The smirk that overtook the man's features gave her the motivation to wipe it off.

"восемнадцать" Eighteen.

She pushed of her other foot and spun her body around, effectively kicking the man in the jaw and sending him to the ground.

Riley knew he was knocked out when she heard his head bounce off the concrete floor, but that didn't stop her from giving him another kick to the stomach.

"I said," kick. "never," kick. "again," kick. "asshole," kick.

She stopped when she heard Bucky groan.

He had managed to undo the rest of his restraints by himself, but he didn't have the energy to hold himself up so he collapsed.

Riley ran over to him.

"Okay big guy, you gotta help me a little."

She could tell he was tortured while he was here. The annoying voice in the back of her mind told her that all this was her fault. That if she had put Bucky first then he wouldn't have been captured again.

She had to push those thoughts out when they were stopped by yet another agent.

"Well well well, if it isn't Project Ghost together again."

"You know I've had a pretty shit day and I'd rather not deal with you right now so if you could knock yourself out that'd be great."

Riley jumped a little when the guy was shot in front of her.

She looked up and saw Natasha in front of her.

"You don't know how happy I am to see you."

Natasha lead the way out and Steve almost made Riley drop Bucky by unexpectedly throwing himself in her arms.

"I'm so happy you're okay."

"Steve. Gotta breath."

Steve backed off and smiled at her.

"Let's go home."

Riley then realized why she agreed to become an Avenger, why she stayed at the tower when she easily could've left, why not even Bucky kept her from agreeing. Steve was there.

Even when she had nothing, she had Steve. He was always there. He was a constant.

He was family.

And that's all Riley ever wanted.

It was also then that she realized she helped bring down a Hydra base and she didn't turn into Devastation.

She was getting better.

That gave her hope for Bucky. If she could get better then so could he.

She just had to keep him safe.

\----

Natasha cornered Riley on the plane back to the tower.

"What did the guy mean when he said Project Ghost?"

Riley was intimidated by the Black Widow, but she always admired her upfront attitude.

"It's what they called the Winter Soldier and Devastation team. There was the Winter Soldier Program and there was the Devastation Project. But Project Ghost was the two coming together; two assassins with no memories and no questions, they can go in and finish a mission without being seen. They were ghosts."

Natasha backed away and nodded, "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Riley shrugged and smiled. "I never got to thank you. You saved my ass back there."

"Don't mention it."

\----

"Are you sure about this Riley?"

"Listen, Bucky had his mind wiped again, I think it's best if we leave and he can find himself again. If they start looking they'd think we were with the Avengers, I can't be that exposed again."

Riley was surprised again by Steve hugging her.

"I'm going to miss you. Be safe."

"Aye Aye Captain."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of part one! Hope you enjoyed :)  
> There are two more parts to this story, roughly ten chapters each so don't fret, there's plenty more of Riley and Bucky and the gang.  
> thank you so much for reading   
> \- kay


	12. 2.1 : " TWO BODIES INTERTWINED "

They had been hiding out in a safe-house for the past month.

Somehow the Avengers had managed to muck up the world a little more in the month Riley and Bucky had been M.I.A.

Apparently Stark thought Ultron was a good idea. Even Riley knew that would fail miserably.

But Riley didn't put a lot of thought into that. The Hydra attack was still fresh in her mind and she had been working double time on Bucky, trying to get him to re-remember her.

It was harder than it seemed.

He was still having trouble differentiating between Devastation and Riley and Bucky and the Winter Soldier.

He couldn't separate between the two, Riley understood that.

When she had first escaped Hydra, it took her two months to realize she wasn't Devastation, that Riley was a separate personality, that Riley was her and Devastation was a monster that used her body.

At least that's what she told herself.

She still had problems convincing herself that she is not Devastation, and she had been free for 6 months now.

She almost laughed at herself, free.

Was she really free?

The answer was no, she was not really free. She was just trapped again, first by Hydra then by the Avengers, now by herself.

She would never truly be free. She would always be trapped by something, or someone.

Groans snapped Riley out of her thoughts.

Riley stared at Bucky, he was sleeping, rather fitfully, on the couch.

She debated between waking him up or letting him continue his restless slumber.

Because, even though it was an anxious slumber, at least he was sleeping.

She didn't have to choose, Bucky woke himself up with his relentless yells.

These yells meant he had a memory resurface.

Riley had grown accustomed to them, she could tell his memory yells from his pain yells from his in danger yells now. But that didn't mean they don't make her want to run towards him and hold him until he's okay again.

She learned to control those urges, Bucky needed a rock right now, he didn't need his girlfriend from the 20th century.

When Bucky sat up and stared into his lap, Riley walked over and sat down.

He looked up when she grabbed his hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Y- You saved me."

"When?"

"We were on a - a mission ...

They were sent on another mission.

Devastation had no idea who the target was, she didn't even know his name. All she knew was that he was a threat to Hydra, and threats needed eliminated.

She was following the Winter Soldier. He seemed to have more of an idea as to where they were going. 

They were always careful while on missions.

But this time, the Soldier wasn't careful enough.

Devastation watched as he made one wrong step forward, and was shot in the stomach.

Devastation didn't react to the shot, but something else inside her did.

She ran forward and raised her gun, taking only a second to prep herself before shooting and killing whoever it was that shot her partner.

She turned back and looked at the Soldier, he was in and out of consciousness, she knew he needed medical attention fast.

But the mission wasn't completed, who she had killed was merely a bodyguard, it wasn't their target.

She knew that if she went back to the base with an uncompleted mission there would be hell to pay.

But if she went back with a dead Winter Soldier there would be just as much torture awaiting.

Devastation ripped the bottom half of her shirt and used it as a makeshift bandage for the Soldier, she grabbed his hand and laid it on the wound, hoping to create as much pressure as possible, and was off to hopefully finish the mission.

She grabbed a grenade from her belt and snuck around the building. She knew the target was in the room on the second floor by the light shining into the night.

She took a deep breath and jumped up, grabbing onto the windowsill and threw the grenade in the room through the slightly open window.

She didn't wait to see if the mission was completed.

She had to get back to the Soldier.

When she did he was unconscious and his hand had fallen off the wound.

Devastation feared she may had taken too long, that the Winter Soldier had died on her watch.

She carried him all the way back to the base.

She carried him through the base and into the medical wing.

She fought against the guards for as long as she could, to make sure he was okay.

She didn't understand why she felt so attached to the metal armed man. They were partners, that was it. Yet somehow she couldn't help but feel protective over him.

She let the agents strap her down.

She didn't fight against the torture they inflicted upon her.

She thought, for once, she deserved it.

She hadn't completed her mission, she let emotions get in her way, she failed.

It was all her fault, and they wouldn't let her forget it.

"You know I thought you were dead, they never told me you survived, and they wiped me after the mission. I didn't even recognize you on our next mission." Riley hung her head, "That wasn't me though, that was Devastation. If she ever did any good it was that she always had your back, she made sure you survived, I have to thank her for that."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"It was you. Riley saved me, Devastation was just in control."

Riley gripped his hand a little tighter as a way to thank him.

It occurred to her that this Bucky hadn't seen Star Wars yet, and she felt like watching it again.

"We need to do something to help jog your memory." She stood up and took the movies out of her bag. (She had stole them from Stark, she figured if he really wanted to watch them he could afford to buy them.)

"Why aren't we doing those mind exercises? Why are we watching movies?"

"I'm hoping by the end of this movie you'll be able to tell me why we watched it." Riley said as she put in A New Hope.

\----

Bucky made Riley pause the movie halfway through.

"We watched this together at Stark Tower. You fell asleep and I wouldn't get up to change the movie because I didn't want to wake you up, but I did and you slept through the next movie too. I left after that, didn't I? That's why I was captured?" Riley nodded.

"You left the next morning while I was in a meeting. You said you didn't belong there. You know that's not true right? You aren't a villain, Bucky."

"I know the Winter Soldier isn't me. He's the villain. You can't deny that. But I was there and I can't help but think that I could've stopped it."

"You couldn't have. Believe me, when that other person takes ahold of you, you become something else, something unstoppable. You're just along for the ride at that point, and no one can blame you for what he did."

Bucky smiled and Riley resumed the movie, leaning into Bucky and hoping he would take what she had said seriously.

It took her a long time to get over what she did as Devastation, but once she was convinced that she wasn't the monster it was easier.

It was like shifting the blame to someone else while still taking responsibility for your actions.

Going after Hydra helped too.

When she first ran away, she immediately threw herself into attacking Hydra and the agents that did her wrong. She stopped soon after starting, once she realized it was too dangerous. That didn't mean she went easy on the few that found her.

Her first kill as Riley was a Hydra agent, she felt remorse until she remembered his face a few days later.

He had been one of the men that tortured her.

He was better off dead.

She had started a revenge trip and soon realized she was acting more like Devastation than Riley which, in the end, made her stop.

But the path of Revenge was physically and emotionally draining.

And Riley was going to keep Bucky off it as best as she could.

She wasn't, however, going to let Hydra get away with ruining his life again. They would pay, Riley would make sure of it.

\----

Bucky left Riley sleeping on the couch.

She had fallen asleep and he didn't have the heart to wake her up.

He knew how little sleep she had gotten in the last month because of him. It only made sense to let her sleep as much as possible for now.

He looked down at her and felt a smile overtake his features.

He hadn't told her yet that he remembered her. That he remembered their life together before Hydra inserted themselves in it. That he remembered everything they had ever done together. That he remembered loving her, and the feeling that came with that. The same feeling that despite everything, never left him when he looked at her. He could vaguely remember feeling it when he was the Winter Soldier looking at Devastation.

Somehow they had a bond that Hydra couldn't brainwash out of him. That had to mean something.

Maybe Bucky was just a hopeless romantic and wanted to believe that even though the pair had been through some shit, there was a possibility of the two being together.

He just hoped that Riley felt the same way.

\----

It wasn't often that Bucky was woken up by Riley's screams.

He figured it was because she rarely slept.

Normally it was Riley dealing with Bucky after a night of nightmares.

Honestly, Bucky didn't know how to help her.

She was still sleeping through her screams, probably due to her literal exhaustion.

Bucky wanted to help her, he wanted her to wake up, for her to stop screaming and for the tears to stop flowing freely from her eyes.

No matter how much he called her name and how much he shook her, she wouldn't stop. She wouldn't wake up.

So Bucky just held her.

He held her as close to him as possible and ran his real hand through her hair while whispering in her ear.

When she finally snapped out of the nightmare's grasps, she shoved Bucky away.

She had a fire in her eyes that didn't seem to diminish until he softly called her name.

It was as if her bones gave out on her, and she collapsed onto him.

Without thinking twice, he held her close again and went through the same procedure he did while she was sleeping.

Bucky then saw just how broken Riley was.

That despite her tough exterior and helpful attitude, Riley needed just as much help as Bucky.

That even though she looked as if she was complete, her mask was shattered, along with every other part of her.

And maybe he could be the one to help put her back together.

Just like she's been the one that's held him together.

After a while Riley pushed Bucky away again, gentler this time, and stood up.

"FUCK!" she yelled, scaring Bucky and causing him to jump in surprise. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M TIRED OF HYDRA AND ALL THEIR... their.."

She stopped when she couldn't think of the word she wanted to use, which in turn made her more angry.

"Shenanigans?" Bucky suggested.

Riley looked at him and busted into hysterical, sleep deprived, stress consumed, laughter.

"Really Bucky? Shenanigans? What are you? 90 years old?"

Bucky shot her a death glare and she stopped laughing.

She had momentarily forgotten that they were in fact 90 years old.

"Oh shit, I forgot."

"So what was it that made you snap?"

Riley shook her head, she didn't want to think about it anymore, Bucky had managed to get her mind off of it and she wanted to keep it that way.

"I say fuck it, let's get some sleep Buck."

Bucky stood up and led Riley to the room that had a bed. Neither of them claimed it, since neither really used it.

When Bucky turned to leave Rile grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"No. Stay."

And he did.

He laid beside her and held her in her arms the entire night.

Someway, somehow, intertwined with each other, neither suffered from another nightmare.

And in the nights that followed the pair continued to have full nights of sleep only when together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this just a filler chapter but i mean who doesn't love domestic assassins? this is also the longest chapter (thus far) so woo to that.   
> hope you're enjoying reading :) xx
> 
> \- kay


	13. 2.2 : " I GUESS WE TEMPTED FATE "

Riley groggily reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her ringing phone.

She didn't check the caller id before answering, only two people knew her number; Stark, because he gave her the phone and Steve, because he's the one who insisted she needed one. It wasn't hard to guess who would call her.

"What the hell do you want at 3 in the morning Spangles?" she whispered, she didn't want to wake Bucky who was sleeping beside her.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Because it's 3 in the fucking morning Steve. You know the time when most normal people are asleep?"

"Oh my God are you sleeping with Bucky?"

"We are sleeping in the same bed if that's what you're insinuating."

"I'm sure you guys are sleeping."

"You know if you woke me up just to see if I was fucking my boyfriend from the 40s I'm going to have to kick your ass."

"Jesus watch your language. No, actually there was a point to this. We need you."'

"So Avengers Assemble and all that? Because if I remember correctly I quit." Riley completely ignored his language comment.

"This is a little more personal than the Avengers." Riley sat up at that.

"Hydra?" The silence that followed as all the confirmation she needed, "Well shit, okay. Um."

"They know where you are. They will be coming. And I think it would be best if yo-"

"Steve? Shit, shit, shit." The phone call was cut. She wasn't sure why.

Maybe Steve was ambushed? Maybe Tony caught him talking to her and took the phone away?

The bad scenarios wouldn't stop popping up in her mind.

Until she looked down and realized her phone died.

She never used it so she never charged it.

She mumbled a curse but let out a sigh of relief. At least Steve was safe.

She was an asshole to him, but he was still her family.

Then reality set in. Hydra was out there. They were ready to kill Bucky and Riley, or worse, capture them.

She heard sticks snap outside. She felt Bucky jump up. In her head, the world turned into slow motion.

She watched as Bucky grabbed the gun hidden underneath the bed and shot the first Hydra agent that walked through the door.

She watched as the room flooded with Hydra agents.

She felt her body fight back, but she didn't feel like it was her doing it.

She heard herself yell when Bucky was knocked down.

She felt herself push through the agents, knocking them over as she stood Bucky up and lead him to the window.

She saw the Hydra agents come for her.

She felt herself push Bucky out of the window and into the woods.

She could taste freedom as she reached out the window.

She felt all hope leave her body when black dots overtook her sight and pain seared in the back of her head.

She hadn't felt like herself at all.

She felt herself go into her mind and let Devastation take over.

She hoped she would do some good.

\----

When Riley opened her eyes she was laying on the floor.

Scratch that, she was outside.

And damn was it bright.

She didn't remember how she got there.

She did realize, however, that Bucky was not with her.

Flashes of the morning came to her painfully.

She groaned and put her head in her hands.

She stopped trying to remember anything when she saw her murdering all the Hydra agents.

She wanted to run. She wanted to leave, to find Bucky and go.

But she knew she needed to go back to the house and grab their few belongings.

Just in case a cop rolled by and found all the dead bodies, Riley and Bucky wouldn't be traceable.

Apparently she hadn't crashed far from the house, she could barely see it, but she could see it.

She started her trek with her head down and her hands down by her side.

She would put them in her pockets if Hydra didn't attack while she was in pajamas.

She was starting to feel guilty. It didn't matter who she killed, even if they were Hydra scum, she killed them and they could've had families. No family should have to deal with their family member being murdered, she knew from experience.

When she made it to the house she carefully stepped over all the bodies, trying not to look at them, and put all of her and Bucky's belongings in a bag.

Luckily for her they didn't have much and it all fit in one bag.

She was off to find Bucky.

They had finally found something good. They were becoming themselves again, they had a blossoming relationship, they were almost ready to bring Steve back into their lives (Bucky had been asking about him since he remembered him). Then Hydra had to come in and fucked everything up, as they usually do.

They had tempted fate, and fate came back to haunt them.

But she'd be damned if she would let them ruin her life again.

She would find Bucky, they would go to the Avengers, and they would wage war on the sons of bitches that kept trying to ruin every good thing in the world.

Simply put, Riley was pissed, and she wasn't going down without a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this is literally nothing and there's no action whatsoever but I promise it'll get better, at least I hope so.  
> Hope you still enjoy though, thank you so much for reading :)  
> \- kay


	14. 2.3 : " ALWAYS SO FAR AWAY "

Riley's first stop was Stark Tower in New York City.

The first time she found Bucky was pure luck and coincidence. The second time she went to find him he was kidnapped.

And she did not want that to happen again.

She knew that's where Steve would be, with Tony.

If her and her cousin were anywhere near as close as they once had been she would've teased him about it.

The old Riley would've asked if he had come to terms with his bisexuality yet.

But she wasn't the old Riley, no matter how hard she wished or how much everything else had, that would never change.

It was her curse, she assumed. To be with everything that made the old Riley happy and whole and not be able to connect to it like she should. To be different while everything around her was the same.

Shaking those thoughts from her head she focused on the mission once more.

She needed to find Bucky, for both of their sakes, and Steve would without a doubt help her.

She needed his help in finding Bucky, and she needed to talk to him.

She needed the old team back together.

\----

It wasn't long until she was wrapped up in Steve's arms.

When she made it to the tower Steve was waiting on her. She had no idea how he would've known she was coming to him, but he did.

He knew when she was in trouble, just like in the old days.

"He's missing." was all it took for Steve to stand up and hold her.

She hadn't noticed that she was crying until Steve (finally) let her go and she saw the tear stains on his shirt.

"Oh shit, sorry about that I didn't know -" She was feverishly wiping away the tears when Steve cut her off.

"It's okay, you're okay." Then after a minute, "You still love him, don't you? After all those years, after everything you two have been through, after being wiped, you still love him?"

Riley felt a blush rise to her cheeks as she nodded and bowed her head. "I don't think I ever stopped. When they tortured me, when they made me kill, when I was wiped, I had to focus on something and it was him. I always thought of him. He was the first thing I'd remember if they left me out too long. He saved me Steve, so many times, more than he knows."

Steve threw his arms over her shoulder and steered her indoors, knowing Riley needed a minute to collect herself before she could start then rescue mission he was sure she was already planning.

Steve always took care of Riley, that never changed.

\----

"So in short, we're fucked." Tony summarized. Riley nodded and collapsed into a chair.

She was pacing while she told Tony, Steve, Sam, and Natasha what happened at the safe house but her exhaustion was getting to her.

"How long has it been since you've slept?" Steve questioned, eyes narrowing slightly as he saw how worn down Riley looked.

"Not the time Steve."

Natasha was the one who started composing a plan, effectively stopping Steve before he could start.

"We need to go back to the house. Riley said she pushed him out the window and he went to the woods, so that's where we start. We stay back if we find him, we don't know what state he'll be in. Riley will go up to him, he trusts her the most. Sorry Steve. We should all go though, I'm sure Hydra is just as much on his ass as we are."

Riley nodded and smiled gratefully at Natasha. Riley never thought she would be grateful for the Black Widow, but right now she was so happy to have her there Riley thought she could kiss her. Although Riley wouldn't, she would expect nothing less than a throat punch from her if she pulled a stunt like that, so she stuck to a smile.

"Well what the hell are we waiting for?"

\----

"You know this is supposed to be a stealth mission, right?"

"Of course I know it's a stealth mission."

"Then why the fuck are you stomping around in iron?"

"Excuse you but it's not iron, it's actually niti-"

"I actually don't give a flying fuck."

"You're the one that brought it up."

"You're the one that brought it."

"Oh yeah? Well you're the one that brought us into this mess."

"Actually that was your boyfriend. If it wasn't for him then I wouldn't have came to the tower in the first place."

(Riley thought she heard Sam mutter a "that's cold")

"Yes because it was all Steve's fau- wait what did you call him?"

"You heard me asshat, you're being painfully obvious about it."

"It's not tr-"

"If the two of you would please shut the fuck up." Sam interrupted Riley and Tony's bickering. They hadn't stopped fighting since they hit the thirty minute mark an hour ago. It was only a matter of time until someone stopped finding it amusing and instead found it annoying.

"We aren't dating," Tony grumbled as he stomped away loudly (Riley thought it was on purpose).

Riley rolled her eyes and whispered to Sam, "They're totally dating."

Sam nodded and Riley left his side to walk with Steve until she saw Steve and Tony together and she went to Natasha instead.

"Do you think we'll find him?" She asked.

Natasha glanced down at her and shrugged. "I don't know."

"We're always so far away, whether it be in physical or mental distance, we're never on the same page. I don't think we'll ever be the same." Riley looked down solemnly.

Natasha sighed and looked over at her again. "If you're talkin' romance I'd go to Wilson. I don't do love."

"You don't have anyone special then?"

Nat had a look in her eyes, one that Riley knew she was reminiscing on something, or in this case, someone.

"Love is for children." And with that she walked away.

Steve stopped suddenly, making Tony trip and fall to the ground noisily.

"You see? If you weren't wearing that goddamn suit-"

"Shut up Riley I think I see him."

Riley was only slightly offended that Steve told her to shut up for a second until she sprinted forward only to have Steve stop her again.

"I don't think sprinting into him is the best option. Might spook him."

When Riley actually looked to where Steve was pointing she noticed that Bucky was sleeping.

Riley ignored that he was sleeping out in the open which meant anyone could see him and just how stupid that was of him and instead focused on how he managed to look peaceful and deeply troubled at the same time.

The sight broke her heart.

She stepped forward, this time slowly. Trying not to wake him until she was closer to him.

It was getting dark and she knew trouble would be the only thing to come if he woke up to a figure moving towards him in the darkness.

When she was beside him, Riley sat down.

She reached a hand out and gently shoved him awake.

Not her finest ideas, but an effective one.

Bucky was on top of her in seconds with his hands pinning her shoulders and his legs holding hers down. She was trapped.

"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi," She said while staring into his eyes, eyes that did not look like they belong to Bucky Barnes. It was pitiful, honestly, that she fell back on Star Wars to try to help him recognize her. But she knew Bucky would get it. Or at least she hoped so.

His eyes softened. "You're my only hope," he whispered before collapsing on her, more so hugging her than attacking her.

Riley let her arms wrap around Bucky and hold him close.

She never wanted to leave his arms.

But Bucky was heavier than he lead on and Riley was beginning to have problems breathing.

She released him and he stood up only to be knocked down by an incoming Sam Wilson.

Riley was quick to pull Sam away from Bucky while throwing him a "What the fuck dude?" look.

Sam looked only slightly apologetic, "I, uh, I thought you two were fighting."

"Well thanks for having my back but we were just reciting Star Wars."

"Han and Leia?" Steve asked, apparently the whole group had chased after Sam.

Riley knew what Steve was implying. It made her want to roll her eyes. As if now would be the time to confess her undying love to Bucky Barnes.

"Leia and Ben actually."

"Only Hope, that's cute." Sam rolled his eyes.

Riley left the group and went back to Bucky, he was standing now but stayed away from the group.

"We're safe?" He asked, looking down at her with an expression that Riley could only call pitiful and heartbreaking.

Riley thought back to one of the nights at the Tower, when Bucky had a nightmare and Riley comforted him by repeating the phrase over and over until he believed it. Then she thought of one of the nights at the safe house when she finally managed to get some sleep but woke up abruptly from a nightmare, where Bucky did the same thing.

It was their thing to make sure they were okay. That they were still free. That they still had each other, even if they didn't have anything else.

"We're safe."

\----

They went back to the Tower that night.

Their rooms were the same way they left it.

Riley went with Bucky into his room.

She made sure he was asleep before she left.

There was no need for her to stay, despite how much she wanted to.

And Bucky hadn't asked her to, not that he had much of a chance. He passed out almost immediately after his head hit the soft pillows on the bed.

One thing Riley had noticed was that Bucky quickly took a liking to soft things, it wasn't that hard for him to sleep in a bed.

Riley felt like she still didn't belong in one.

Steve dragged her to the lounge as soon as she closed Bucky's door.

"Look about Tony -"

"He's an asshole but I get it." Riley cut Steve off. She didn't care who Steve was seeing, she thought he knew that.

"Then you aren't mad?"

"Look Steve, I knew you were bi before you took the icy plunge. You don't have to be afraid around me. You know that I have always supported you and I will continue on doing so. I don't give a flying fuck what the bigots in the 40s used to think, I didn't then and I don't now. Be proud of who you are Steve, you're Captain America for fucks sake."

Steve looked like he was going to cry when he pulled Riley into a hug.

"They told me it was a disease." He whispered. "I don't know how they found out but they did and they told me I was sick they said it was a phase and then Peggy happened and I started to believe them but then the serum happened and it cured everything but not this, and I knew. I knew then that it wasn't but I couldn't tell everyone else that and -" He could speak anymore. Steve Rogers was sobbing into Riley and she held him.

She hugged him harder, pretending it was to console him even though it was because she could feel the pain of memories rising.

She was overcome with the strong urge to kick whoever's ass it was that made Steve feel this way.

She remembered Steve coming home from school one day, crying his eyes out, only spilling who made him cry when Riley promised not to go after who it was. She broke that promise.

It made Riley smile slightly that her present self had the same feelings as her past self.

Maybe she was becoming her again.

"C'mon Stevie, let's go eat all of Stark's ice cream."

Steve pulled away from her and, with tear stained cheeks and red eyes, smiled. "You called me Stevie."

"Yeah, so?"

"That's what you used to call me when we were kids."

Then it clicked.

She remembered her childhood. She remembered Steve in full.

"Well Stevie, the offer still stands."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh well hello there.
> 
> when i first wrote this chapter the last scene wasn't in it but as i thought about the Stony hints in it and how much it means that Steve is bi i thought i should add it. and i'm glad i did.
> 
> if you're getting shit for being who you are i hope you know that you aren't the problem. as someone who is still trying to figure out their sexuality, i know how it can feel to be shit on for simply being you and it's easier to blame yourself than it is to think there are people in the world that believe you are subpar simply because of who you love. but don't because it isn't you and you need to know that.
> 
> this is also the longest chapter now so that's exciting.
> 
> thank you for reading, i hope you're enjoying this story. it's been my favorite to write.
> 
> \- kay


	15. 2.4 : " YEAH I KNOW I WAS MEAN "

Riley was completely unaware that there were new Avengers.

She found out when she went down to the kitchen after yet another night of fitful slumber.

But she didn't want to be in the kitchen, she wanted to be with Bucky like they had been for the last month.

She wanted to be beside him, to let the warm feeling she got while in his presence wash over her and lull her to sleep.

But she couldn't bring herself to take the walk down the hall and show how much she needed him.

She was supposed to be independent, she wasn't supposed to depend on someone just so she could sleep. It was pathetic. She was pathetic.

All those thoughts left her mind when she nearly jumped out of her skin and threw a knife at the girl standing in front of the fridge.

Riley felt her head tilt to the left when the knife was frozen in midair by the girl, the red energy surrounding the knife was the same that was coming from her hands.

"What the fuck?"

"Why are you down here?" The girl asked, Riley was even more confused when she heard the thick accent, she had no idea where this girl was from.

"I'm hungry. Where are you from?"

"Sokovia."

Riley wanted to bang her head off the wall for being so oblivious.

"Shit sorry, you're Wanda right? Maximoff? Scarlet Witch?" Wanda nodded and Riley visibly relaxed. "I didn't know you were living here too."

"What are you?"

"Excuse me?"

"I can see in your mind. It's a mess. But I can see you aren't human so what are you? They messed with you too, didn't they?" Riley ignored Wanda's voice crack when she whispered the question.

"Hydra? Yeah, they fucked with me. They made me into a weapon. So no need to remind me I'm not human."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry." Riley felt an urge to reassure the girl.

"It's fine, not the first time someone's fucked with my mind."

"You mean like the Soldier?"

"What?"

"The Winter Soldier, he's the man you love, right?" Riley nodded slowly.

"How did you know that?"

"I told you I can see into your mind." Wanda smirked. "You know I don't think he would mind if you went into his room like you want to. I think he would enjoy it actually."

"I don't want to come off as clingy or needy."

Wanda rolled her eyes, "Swallow your pride and do what you need to. Which is sleep by the way, I can feel how exhausted you are and it's making me want to pass out so for me, go to him and get some sleep."

Riley smiled and turned to leave. "Sorry about the knife thing!" She called over her shoulder.

"I understand. Go get your man."

Riley's smile widened as she walked towards Bucky's room.

She slowly pushed the door open to see Bucky laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He wasn't asleep, but his eyes were closed.

"Riley." He whispered, a smile making it's way on his lips.

"I can't sleep and I know this is very u-"

"Shut up and c'mere."

Riley did as he said and laid down beside him. The warm feeling was starting up in her stomach and Riley felt a smile of her own start too.

Bucky turned to his side and faced her, Riley did the same.

"I couldn't fall asleep without you," he whispered, as if he was afraid to confess out loud in case it would wake the night.

"I couldn't stay asleep."

Riley closed her eyes as Bucky placed his forehead on hers.

When Riley opened her eyes she was staring directly into Bucky's.

"I remember you. I remember what we had. I remember loving you, and what that felt like." As Bucky confessed Riley felt her smile grow, "I still have that feeling, Ri. I think I still love you."

Riley reached a hand up to tuck a section of his hair behind his ear that had fallen in front of his eyes. She let her hand trail down his face and caress his cheek.

She had to tell her heart to slow down when he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

She tilted her head slightly and hovered her lips over his.

"I never stopped," She whispered before she finally kissed him.

It was slow and soft, they let their lips say what they couldn't.

Riley felt like she was on cloud nine, and even though they had stayed that way for minutes, pulling away slightly only to continue seconds later, when they finally stayed apart Riley still thought it was too soon.

She laid her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Goodnight Ri."

"G'night Buck."

\----

"Well well well, doesn't this seem familiar."

Riley groaned when she heard Tony's voice.

She sat up slightly (Bucky still had a pretty good grip on her which made moving difficult) and grabbed the pillow she didn't use and threw it at him before laying back down to snuggle into Bucky's side.

"Fuck off Stark."

"Are you wearing pants this time?"

"What part of fuck off don't you understand?"

"I think it's the off part. Get up, we have to talk."

Riley groaned and tried to wiggle out of Bucky's grasp because she knew it was easier to just do what Tony asked instead of try to argue when she just woke up but Bucky was not having it. Everytime she tried to move away he would hold onto her tighter.

"Bucky I gotta get up or Stark's gonna join us." She whispered in his ear, hoping that would be enough to at least get him to loosen his grip. It worked, and Riley scooted away from him.

She and Tony walked out of the room and Riley tries her best to shut the door silently.

Tony raises an eyebrow.

"He doesn't get a lot of sleep, I don't want to wake him if I don't have to."

"What's going on there anyways?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well there isn't nothing there. You've been in love with him for the last century, it's not like you try to hide it. Plus you've been alone with him for the last month, something had to happen."

"Actually nothing happened during that month, but we kissed last night," saying it out loud made her blush.

"I knew it! Sam and Nat owe me 10 bucks!"

"You guys bet on us?"

"Hell yeah we bet on you guys."

"You guys are assholes. Anyways, what did you need? Unless it was to ask about my love life which could've waited."

"Oh yeah, uh, it's about Steve. He told me you found out about us -"

"It wasn't hard, you two are super obvious."

"Anyways, I just wanted you to know that I really do like him and -"

"Save it Stark, I don't care. I trust Steve to make the right call. But if you break his heart I swear to God Stark, you're going to wish you were never born. M'sorry for being such an ass to you, I know I was just being mean and it was uncalled for."

"Hey, no hard feelings, I'm an ass too."

Tony surprised her by pulling her into a hug and whispering a thank you in her ear.

"Okay let's stop this nice shit now, if we're done here I'd like to go back to Buck."

"Yeah we're done, just keep this quiet for us, we don't want everyone to know."

"I think it's a little late for that, Stark. I think all the Avengers know at this point." When Tony's mouth dropped open Riley smirked, "I told you you two were obvious, I think it was Nat who said loud too."

Riley left him in the hall and went back into Bucky's room.

Bucky was awake and waiting for her to come in. He smiled at her when he saw her.

"Hey Ri."

Riley laid down and covered her face with the blanket.

"I want to sleep."

"What if we watch Star Wars instead?"

The blanket was slowly pulled down and Riley was smiling.

"A New Hope?"

"What is it you told me the first time we came to New York? Of fucking course."

\----

It takes a lot of coaxing from Bucky and a promise that he'll make her lunch for Riley to agree to leave the room.

She would've prefered to stay where they were, cuddling and watching Star Wars, but the growl from her stomach that interrupted Bucky's pleading convinced her that she needed to leave, at least to eat.

It was a terrible idea.

As soon as the pair walked out and into the kitchen Steve walked in and threw a file down on the counter.

Bucky left Riley's side to make sandwiches and Riley made the mistake of asking Steve if the file meant he was working a case.

"No actually, it means you're working a case."

"What?"

"You need to do this for me, take Bucky too, I'm busy with the Avengers. Tony said he talked to you this morning and you agreed to it."

"That little asshole, I did not agree to anything. But since it's you I'll do it."

Steve smiled, "Thank you so much Ri, I owe you one."

"Fuck yeah you do," she grumbled before opening the file.

"What's that?" Bucky asked when he sat down beside her with two plates in his hand.

"We have a case."

"We?"

"Well I'm not going alone. Are you ready for one? 'Cause if you aren't I can talk Sam into going."

"No I'm ready, I want to get out of this tower."

Riley smiled and let out a small moan when she bit into her sandwich, "Awesome, this is really good Buck."

The compliment made Bucky smile proudly which in turn made Riley smile.

"I was expecting it to be bad," Riley's comment made Bucky's smile fall, but it came back when he saw she was joking.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

"If you start choking her I'm leaving."

Riley and Bucky turned to see Sam leaning against the doorway.

"You always think like that Wilson?" Riley teased, "Don't answer that, I don't want to know your kinks."

"I know you're new here Rogers, but this is a kinkshame free zone."

"Are you even an Avenger yet, Birdsuit?"

"One: it's not a bird suit. Two: actually I am."

"Oh shit, congrats Wings, I'm proud of you."

"Are you ever going to run out of nicknames?"

"Never, Willy."

Sam rolled his eyes and walked over to the two.

"Gotta mission?"

"Yep, me and Buck are leaving in a few hours."

"I'm on call if you need my help. First missions are always hard."

Riley smiled up at him and grabbed Bucky's hand. "We'll be okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is just a filler chapter that seems like Riley is just apologizing the entire time but hey we got a kiss and we moved the plot onwards so i call it a win.
> 
> thanks for reading and sticking with me through this story, it's been quite problematic as of late and i really appreciate every read
> 
> \- kay


	16. 2.5 : " THIS NIGHT WILL HAUNT MY DREAMS "

Riley was pacing.

She wouldn't admit it out loud but she was nervous.

She couldn't understand why she was so nervous, it was a simple mission.

All they had to do was break into an apartment that had files for something Shield needed. Specifically files that Tony needed.

Other than the recent Hydra attacks, Riley hadn't been in the field since her last mission as Devastation. The same mission that lead to her escape.

And, technically speaking, that mission was a fail.

Maybe it was the fact that the reason her and Bucky were even on this mission was to prove that they could be in the field, to prove their worth, to prove they could be on the good side.

She couldn't afford for this mission to fail.

Bucky noticed her pacing and called back to her, "We can do this Ri, you don't need to worry."

Riley walked into the cockpit, where Bucky was flying the quinjet, "You aren't even the least bit nervous? What if we get ambushed? What if you get hurt?"

"Of course m'nervous, but I know that if anything heads south, you'll have my back. We're a team, always have been."

Riley smiled fondly at Bucky. He was right afterall, even before Hydra paired them together, the two had fought side by side through everything. If Steve was being hurt, they'd fight the asshole together. When Riley got her heart broken, Bucky would be there to reassure her that there was nothing wrong with her. Whenever Bucky was beginning to feel the he didn't belong, Riley showed him how lost everyone would be without him.

They had always been a team, they could fight anything together.

"I hate you when your right."

"Please, you love me."

Riley rolled her eyes, "We almost there yet?"

"Close, 5 minutes maybe."

She pulled out the file and read through it one more time.

They could do this.

\----

Riley raised her gun and pointed it at the door, nodding towards Bucky. He kicked open the door and Riley ran through, quickly surveying the small apartment, she lowered her gun.

"All clear. You go to the bedroom, I'll look in here."

The two searched the unusually clean apartment for the file.

Riley was looking in the living room when she saw something hanging from the bottom of the couch.

She laid on the floor and reached her hand underneath the couch, pulling off tape and letting the paper fall to the ground.

When she pulled it out she mentally cheered.

Whoever lived here was creative enough to hide a top secret Hydra file underneath their couch.

She dropped the file when she heard a gun go off.

She ran to the bedroom, where Bucky should've been.

She stopped when she didn't see him, but another man laying on the floor, covered in his own blood.

She didn't have much time to think about what she had seen. A man had put her in a chokehold while she was distracted by the body.

What confused her was that she could feel the coolness of metal pressing against her throat.

She thought it was Bucky, it would make sense if he was in defense mode, so she relaxed slightly and opened her mouth to speak, to let him know it was her.

Her mouth dropped wider when she saw Bucky turn a corner and stand in front of her.

It was then that she knew she was royally screwed.

"Come with us, James, and the girl doesn't get hurt."

"Don't you fucking dare Bu-" Riley cut herself off when the man applied more pressure to the knife on her neck.

She could feel blood run down her neck.

She saw Bucky's eyes widen and his body relax from a fight stance to a surrendering stance.

Riley was not going to let this man take Bucky away from her. She was not going to let anyone take him away from her. Never again.

She took a deep breath, one that was just shaky enough to pass as a nervous breath, and elbowed the man in the ribs.

He instantly recoiled and loosed his grip, giving Riley just enough leverage to slip out of his grasp.

She turned around and faced him, smirking slightly, but not giving him any time to attack. She punched him once in the jaw and kicked his legs out from underneath him.

Picking up his abandoned knife, she backed away slowly to Bucky's side.

Riley saw the third man before he could make a move to attack.

She threw the knife towards him and felt slightly satisfied when it managed to hit the man's neck, killing him swiftly.

Bucky turned to her, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I can't believe you were going to let him take you. What the hell?"

"He was going to kill you, Ri. Did you expect me to let that happen?"

"Well no but -"

"No buts, I got your back, remember? You aren't allowed to die for me. I had a plan anyways."

Riley heard the shot before she felt it.

She could feel her eyes widen as she felt the pain tear through her.

Her first thought was "At least it wasn't Bucky."

Then she felt herself fall, and pass out. She figured from the pain.

She didn't know that Bucky immediately shot, and killed, the man.

She didn't know that an entire team of Hydra agents came in and took Bucky.

She didn't know that he was yelling for her the entire time.

She didn't know that his final words as a free man were "I love you, Riley"

She didn't know she lost her Bucky again, after she promised she never would.

\----

When Riley woke up she was pissed.

She lifted her shirt and winced at the pain.

They got her shoulder.

She ended up taking off her shirt and using it as a makeshift sling.

She ignored that using her shirt for medical purposes meant she was going to have to go back home shirtless. That didn't matter right now anyways.

What mattered is that Riley couldn't handle one bullet and now Bucky was gone.

She was mad at herself, Hydra had shot her upwards of 5 times at once and she could handle it. What happened?

She slowly moved into the living room and saw the file laying in the same spot she dropped it.

At least Hydra was considerate enough to leave what she came here for.

She bent down and grabbed the file, cursing when her shoulder jolted forward.

That was going to get old really fast.

Luckily for her she had enhanced healing.

Unluckily for her that didn't mean it didn't hurt like a bitch until it did heal.

She trudged her way through the apartment complex and around the block to where Bucky left the quinjet, ignoring the stares and comments that she got on her way.

She did not have the time nor the energy to deal with people who wanted to complain about her "indecency".

With a loud groan she flopped down in the pilot's seat.

She turned on the comms.

"Whoever's at Earth's Mightiest Asshole's Tower come in."

She waited for what seemed like eternity when in reality it was only about 5 minutes. No one answered, she rolled her eyes and tried again.

"Can Stark please stop fucking my cousin and respond?"

She mentally cheered when she heard Sam.

"Riley! It's good to hear your voice. Is there a problem?"

"Oh no, everything's peachy except for the fact that I got shot and the Hydra dicktards stole Bucky. But don't worry! I have Stark's precious file."

"That's a shit situation. Can you fly?"

Riley rolled her eyes. She was one hundred and ten percent done with the day and everyone's bullshit.

"I can probably make it but I'd rather not bleed out on the way. Flying normally requires two hands and that's all I have. Can't really fly and keep constant pressure on a bullet wound then, can I?"

"Nat's coming, hold tight."

"You're an angel Sam Wilson."

"Bitch, tell me something I don't know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the horrendous action, honestly i've learned over the course of this story that i am horrible at action. 
> 
> i just want to throw out that i didn't intend for stony to be a big thing in this story, it was originally just going to be subtle but every time i get the chance to throw it in there i run with it so if you don't like it sorry, i actually don't ship stony so i'm not sure how it came to this point but i do love it.
> 
> hope you're enjoying. thank you so much.
> 
> \- kay


	17. 2.6 : " I'LL BE CHASING GHOSTS "

Nat and Riley came into the Avengers Tower side by side, the three hour plane ride had made them closer, Riley understood Natasha's cautious approach previously and Natasha had come to understand the importance of the other Roger.

Despite the time and effort spent on creating a bond with Nat, Riley was still thinking about Bucky, which in turn kept the fire of anger in her gut burning.

The first thing Riley did when she walked in the Tower was storm her way into Tony's lab where she knew he would be.

Throwing the file down, she glared at him. "Here's your precious fucking file. I'm going to ignore the fact that it's for a weapon that Hydra used because, quite frankly, I'm pissed. And if you could please look at me and not my body that'd be great."

Riley had forgotten that her shirt was still being used as a sling. After this realization she gingerly untied it and put the shirt on as it was designed for.

"I heard about Barnes, I'm sorry."

"Yeah? Well so am I, but we can be sorry after we get him back."

Tony sighed, "Look Riley, I know how much Barnes means to you but we can't drop everything and find him."

Riley could feel the anger in her towards Hydra shift towards Tony, her eyes narrowed.

"You listen here asshole, I don't care about what you think, I don't care what you say, I don't care what you do. I do care about Barnes, but he's only part of the problem. In case you couldn't get it through your thick skull, Hydra took him again which means Hydra is back again. Which means you need to strap on your Avengers gear because this isn't just about Bucky or me or you or any single person this is about the fate of the world because if you think that Hydra is just going to lay down and let the world keep spinning when they have one of their most successful weapons back in their hands you have never been more wrong."

Surprisingly enough to her, Riley never raised her voice. She never yelled or even moved closer to Tony. She kept her distance and her voice even. Which in Tony's mind, made her more terrifying.

Still, he shook his head.

"We can't go after him. Not now. We don't have everything we need, once we do then a small team can go find him. We can't go into this without all the information. Last time Barnes was the damsel in distress and you saved him you got lucky. We can't count on luck again."

Riley nodded, as much as she didn't want to she agreed. He had a point, rushing into this could lead to another failure, and she couldn't afford that.

"Time is against us, Stark. I don't want them wiping him again and I sure as hell don't want him in Winter Soldier mode again."

Riley left the lab after that and went into the lounge.

Steve, Sam, and Nat were in there. Sam and Nat had to have filled Steve in on what happened, as soon as Riley entered Steve ran up to her and hugged her.

"We're going to find him. I promise you, we will get him back," he whispered in her ear. Riley hugged him tighter.

She had missed this, she missed Steve being like her brother instead of a stranger.

She reminded herself that when she got Bucky back their family would be together again and she would never let go of them.

\----

One day passed and they got a video.

FRIDAY alerted them and Tony called them into the meeting room to watch it.

Riley stared suspiciously at the red man sitting at the table, but soon changed her hostile feelings towards him when she heard him speak.

"Riley, it's good to meet you." His voice reminded her of JARVIS and she briefly recalled a conversation with Steve after the events with Ultron about the Vision. She quickly connected the dots and visibly relaxed.

"Vision, it's good to meet you too."

She recognized Wanda from the night in the kitchen, Sam was there along with Nat, Steve, a man she recognized as Clint Barton, and another she knew as James Rhodes, one of Stark's friends. The Avengers we here.

Tony played the video and Riley immediately felt her heart drop and tears spring to her eyes.

Bucky was there, strapped to a chair with blood, cuts, and bruises everywhere.

He looked to be fighting unconsciousness, his eyes were half open and his head kept falling down towards his chest.

"Hello Devastation." Riley could see Bucky's head rise at the name, "I'm sure you know who we are, who has your precious Soldier. We can't get to you, not physically that is. But what we can do is make you suffer along with him."

She watched as a masked Hydra agent cut down the length of his forearm.

Instead of screaming from pain like his eyes said he wanted to, he looked at the agent in the eyes and said lowly, "Riley will find me, she's going to get me out of here, and I guarantee she will kill you for doing this."

Riley felt a smile tug at her lips, not only from the amount of confidence he had in her, but since he knew her that meant they didn't use the memory machine on him.

Which confused Riley, but she brushed it off and was grateful instead.

Her smile dropped when they Hydra agent spoke to him, too quietly for the camera to pick up, seeing Bucky's eyes widen, and continued slicing at his skin.

It wasn't long before the torture escalated and Riley turned her head, she couldn't watch him like that.

His screams tore through his lips that he so desperately tried to keep closed, and Riley felt a single tear slip through her closed eyes and trail down her cheek.

Her eyes opened when she felt someone grab and squeeze her hand.

She looked at Sam and squeezed his hand back.

The video ended and Tony stood up.

"The video is almost too easily traceable. This is obviously a trap."

Riley looked at him and shook her head.

"I know what you're going to say, Stark, but I don't care. I'm sure you already traced it and you have the address. Give it to me."

"No," Steve said, eyeing Riley wearily, "You would go alone and I won't let you do that."

"Yeah but Tony won't let you go. He doesn't care that much about me. I'm expendable, I may be the only one in this room who isn't an Avenger, but I can do this. Stark, let me do this." Riley kept her eyes on Tony the entire time she spoke.

"Tony doesn't control my decisions."

"But she's right Steve, I don't want you to go."

"Who else would go with her?"

"Does someone need to go with me? I can handle myself, thank you very much."

"Are all the Rogers' like this?"

"Like what?"

"You know what like."

"Oh do I? Please, enlighten me."

"Don't do this Ri."

"Don't 'Ri' me, he's insulting us!"

"I think insulting is a bit of a stretch."

"Oh fuck off Stark."

"Watch your language."

"What the f-"

"I'll go with her." A fourth voice broke the three from their bickering.

Riley turned her head to her left faster than what would be classified as safe, "What the hell Sam? No. It's too dangerous."

"As sweet as it is that you care about me and my safety, Riles, I don't care what you think. Like you said, you're the only one that isn't an Avenger. It would be irresponsible to let someone who isn't even a Shield agent go into a Hydra facility. As an Avenger I can't let you go in alone and as a friend I won't."

Riley sent him a small smile and turned to Tony who had a defeated look on his face. Her smile grew.

"Well that settles it. Suit up Sammy Boy, we have a mission." Sam groaned at the nickname.

"On one condition..."

Steve's interruption cause Riley to roll her eyes. "Yes, grandpa?"

"You don't leave today. Take some time to train, let your shoulder heal, think of a plan maybe. I know you want to find him, I do too, but don't rush into this."

Riley acted annoyed but she secretly agreed, she would be acting recklessly if she immediately jumped into battle after her injury, especially since it needed at least today to heal. It wouldn't be safe for her, Sam, or Bucky.

She nodded, "Whatever you say, Cap."

\----

She spent half the day at the gym fighting a punching bag.

She only stopped when Sam stood in front of the bag.

"Sam, get out of the way."

"Oh am I in the way? I didn't notice. Here."

He grabbed her by the shoulders (instead of moving his hand away when he felt the blood pooling from her bullet wound like he wanted to, he just sent her a disgusted look) and led her to the wall where there were chairs lined up.

He ignored Riley's bitchface and made her sit down with a bottle of water and an I'm Not Moving Until You Drink All Of That Because I Know You Haven't Drank Anything Today look.

"You need to start taking care of yourself."

"I can't think about myself right now." Sam sighed and sat down beside her, she leaned to her right and laid her head on his shoulder. After a second she added, "Thank you."

"For what? Doing my job?"

"No, well yes, but for caring. It's been awhile since I could call someone a friend but I'd like to think that's what we are."

"Please Riley, we're besties."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sam and riley are my brotp so that's why there's so much of them in this chapter as well as why he's the one going with her to find bucky. also sam is definitely the mom friend let's be real.
> 
> sorry this is such a filler but action is to come!
> 
> also sorry tony is always made out to be the bad guy, that's not what i planned but oh well i guess.
> 
> thanks for reading and i hope you're enjoying
> 
> \- kay
> 
> p.s. as of 8/15/16 i have written all through 3.4 which means i'm almost done which means faster updates :)


	18. 2.7 : " THE ONE THAT LEFT MY HOLD "

{Bucky's POV}

The pain was immense.

He scooted over to the left, the pain he felt caused his back to arch and a scream tear through his lips.

Okay, he thought, broken ribs, moving is a bad idea. Stay still.

"Well, well, well. The Soldier has awaken."

Bucky closed his eyes and grunted. "Don't call me that."

The man in front of him ignored him.

"Devastation has yet to show her pretty face."

Bucky's eyes shot open and he glared at the man.

"Don't talk about her."

"Oh so you don't want me to talk about Riley? About what I want her to do with that pretty littl-"

"Don't fucking talk about her like that." He seethed.

The anger Bucky felt was burning stronger than the injuries he's sustained.

The agent put his hands up in the surrender position. He moved a chair in front of where Bucky was tied up and sat down.

"Calm down big guy." A silence settled between the two but the glares did not. After a minute the agent spoke up again. "Do you know your story? Do you know why it was you who became thee Winter Soldier?" Bucky kept his mouth closed. "So you don't? Oh boy is this good." A smirk found it's way onto his lips.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" Bucky asked, annoyed at the agent's presence, wishing he would heal faster.

"Nothing, and I mean nothing, is better than being able to tell you what I'm about to." His smirk grew, Bucky had a strong urge to punch the smirk off his face. "Hydra has had eyes on Riley since she was born, she was destined to be Devastation." Bucky's jaw set and his hands clenched into fists but he deflated when the agent spoke again. "That's how we found you. You see, Barnes, we've had plans for Project Ghost for a century. We kept tabs on Riley for the Devastation Project of course but the Winter Soldier Project was also in the works, the two would eventually combine to make Project Ghost. Are you following?" Bucky made a threatening sound and the agent's confidence wavered slightly, he cleared his throat. "When we found Riley she was with two boys, the one was obviously unfit for anything but the other. He was radiating with potential. Do you know who I'm talking about? Yes Barnes, we've had tabs on you since you were eight and we had no intentions of letting you go. Riley is Hydra's blessing, if it weren't for her we wouldn't have you and if we didn't have you Project Ghost would be a failure, and we know how important Project Ghost is."

Bucky stayed silent for a moment. He was mad, so unbelievably mad, but his heart ached for Riley. Part of him wondered if she knew, if she should ever know.

He promised himself then he wouldn't tell her, it would devastate her.

"Don't ever say anything was her fault." He spoke finally, lifting his head and staring the agent directly in the eyes, "Everything that's ever happened to her is your fault, so don't you fucking dare say she's to blame."

"Your loyalty to her is admirable," the agent commented. "If only you were this loyal to Hydra. I wouldn't have to do this."

Bucky tilted his head and squinted his eyes, he was confused. "Do what?"

Then everything was black.

\----

When he came to there was a camera in front of him.

He looked around, there was one man behind the camera and two guarding the door. His eyes felt heavy and he let his head drop down towards his chest.

"Hello Devastation. I'm sure you know who we are, who has your precious Soldier. We can't get to you, not physically that is. But what we can do is make you suffer with him." When Bucky heard Riley's alias he tried to lift his head, to look into the camera so she'll know he's okay, even if he doesn't look it.

The man that was behind the camera was no in front of him, masked and with a large knife in his hands. Bucky knew what was going to happen before it did. He wanted to scream when he felt the knife drag from the inside of his elbow to his wrist. He wanted to cry when he saw the river of blood stream from the deep incision. But he didn't. Instead he swallowed the scream, gritted his teeth, and looked at his torturer dead in the eye. He let his voice drop, the way it would when he was the Winter Soldier.

"Riley will find me, she's going to get me out of here, and I guarantee she will kill you for doing this."

The man in front of him smirk and leaned forward, his mouth almost touching Bucky's ear.

"Oh, we're counting on it."

Bucky let his eyebrows furrow together, what did that mean?

Then it clicked. He was a trap. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth, he wanted to yell to Riley, tell her not to find him, that it was a trap, that it would get her killed, that he wasn't worth it, to let him die here, that he loved her.

None of that was said, instead a scream came out.

The man in the mask never stopped.

He continued to cut, stab, slice, carve. He didn't care.

Bucky had long since passed out from the pain, that still didn't stop the man.

He didn't know how long the torture continued. He didn't know when the video stopped. He didn't know if Riley saw it. He didn't know if she would come.

He didn't know anything, not when he was floating through the darkness.


	19. 2.8 : " MY HEART AND SOUL "

{Bucky's POV}

Bucky woke up to a barrel of ice and cold water being thrown on him.

It was one of the nicest ways Hydra liked to waken their prisoners.

It wasn't like he wanted to be pampered, he thought, but maybe letting him sleep would be nice.

"Rise and shine, princess."

Bucky sat up and glared at the man dressed in all black with a smirk on his face.

Bucky tried not to let his chattering teeth be too loud and for his disgust not to show too prominently on his face.

He didn't try to fight the guards that grabbed him and drug him out of his cell.

He didn't flinch when he was thrown onto the cold chair that he'd spent so much of his time in. The same chair that took his memories. The same chair that stole his life from him. And did the same to Riley.

He should've been scared. He should've tried to fight his way out. He should've been trying.

But he couldn't. He was a shell of a living man at this point. It was easier that way.

No, Hydra hadn't stolen his memories again, they hadn't used any of their cruel torture devices on him, hell he'd even been fed the night before (it was a single slice of stale bread and half a glass of water but it was more than he ever remembered being given willingly by them).

However the around-the-clock torture and the idea of them luring Riley to him so that they could steal her from him was far worse than anything they had done to him.

He tried, for so long, to tell himself that nothing they could do would get to him, that he had seen the worst of them and they wouldn't - they couldn't - hurt him anymore.

Then Riley came back into the picture and his feelings, those damned things, returned and they used that as a weapon against him.

Hydra used his humanity against him, and that's why it was so easy, so tempting, before to grow cold and become the Winter Soldier.

Even though Bucky hated every minute of it.

He was confused when a woman stepped out, dressed in a white lab coat.

No one ever wore white in these buildings, it was an unspoken rule that they wore monochromatic colors (at least that's how it always seemed to Bucky).

And the bases were normally primarily filled with men. Which was always unsettled Bucky, especially thinking about how Riley had to deal with men never leaving her side. Something as simple as "showering" could've been used against her with the disgusting men in these places. Even Bucky felt uncomfortable "showering" (if that's what you could call it) with the guards there, let alone if he was a female stuck there with men. They probably didn't give her the luxury of turning their backs, like they did with him. The thought made him shudder and an anger start to burn in his gut.

She gave him a genuine smile, which was yet another odd occurrence in a place like this, and sat down on a rolling chair beside him.

"Hello Bucky, I'm going to work on your arm. Is that okay?"

He hesitated, looking at her with a raised brow and a tilted head. No one ever asked for his permission with anything. Slowly, he nodded, afraid to disagree.

She smiled wider, Bucky feared for her cheek muscles.

If she smiled any further, he thought, she'd surely stretch her lips off.

He stayed silent while she chatted away, jumping back when sparks flew from his arm every so often.

She seemed so genuinely happy, like she was enjoying where she worked and what she was doing. It really confused Bucky.

"Why?" He asked suddenly, not apologizing when she looked taken aback (he had interrupted her in the middle of some story).

"Excuse me?"

"Why are you working on the arm? It's not broken."

She smiled again, Bucky wanted to grimace but he ignored the urge, "Upgrades to the wiring system in your arm mostly. It never got fully fixed after the incident in Washington. I was never given the time to work on it." Her smile faltered and it looked almost sympathetic.

He never responded and she went back to chatting about whatever the hell she was previously talking about, he wasn't listening.

Then she asked something that made him jump and snap his head towards her fast enough to give him whip lash.

"What is Devastation - I'm sorry, Riley - to you?"

He blinked and tried to think. She was everything to him, but that wasn't enough to express what she meant.

"She's human, not the monster they want her to be. She's so perfectly human. She's my heart and soul, as pathetic as it sounds." He bowed his head at the last bit, he couldn't believe he actually said that out loud, especially in a place where Hydra is always listening. Steve would've made fun of him for being so cheesy and Riley would've blushed but jokingly punched his shoulder and say something about being a sap. Or at least that's what they would've said if they were in the 40s, he wasn't sure if they would still do the same things. They were different people now, afterall.

"So you love her?"

"More than anything." There was no hesitation this time. He didn't have to think about his answer.

The woman smiled again and Bucky really wanted to tell her how concerning it had become to him.

She stood up, wiping her hands on the bottom of her lab coat, and smiled at him again.

"It was wonderful talking with you Bucky." She held out her hand, Bucky stared wearily at it and raised his eyes to hers, silently telling her he wasn't going to shake her hand. She slowly lowered her hand and rubbed it against her leg. "Don't take it personally, but I hope to not see you again."

This time it was Bucky who smiled. She turned to walk out the door when he stopped her by calling out, "I never got your name."

"Mary." She gave him one final real smile and walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, another filler chapter that really has absolutely nothing to do with the actual story and it's super short so i really am sorry but even when planning the story i didn't know what to do with this chapter so i wung it and it kind of flopped. sorry!!
> 
> update: there was going to be two more chapters in this part however I have changed my mind and decided against adding those two parts so this is the final chapter of part 2. thanks for sticking around for so long, here's to the third and final part of chasing ghosts. also i'm sorry with how uneventful part 2 was, that was not my intention but sometimes that's just how it works.
> 
> another update: i lied, there will be one more part to part 2. i'm sorry in advance that it will end on an odd number, it's bothering me too. not enough to add another chapter though.
> 
> i hope you enjoyed anyways, thank you for reading as always
> 
> \- kay


	20. 2.9 : " I WAS CHASING LOVE "

It had been four days since Bucky was captured, Riley's wound had now almost fully healed (after a stern order to rest from Sam since training kept ripping the wound open again) and they were making their final preparations to leave for the facility.

Natasha came up to Riley while she was dressing.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Riley grabbed a shirt, "I have to. I can't let him stay in there and just be tortured."

Natasha took the shirt from her hands, "You bled through," she nodded at patch on her shoulder. She grabbed a new patch and started redressing the wound. "I understand, but are you sure it should be you?"

Riley turned her head and looked at her, "It has to be. That's what they want. They'd just kill whoever else went."

Natasha sighed and handed Riley her shirt, "I hate it when you're right."

Riley smirked, "Don't worry Nat, you're still the smartest person I know."

"Well it certainly isn't you."

She laughed, "I'm wounded Nat, really. You've hurt me."

"Are you two decent?"

Nat laughed, "Come in Steve."

Riley turned around to the door and smiled at Steve.

"I just wanted to wish you luck, I know you won't listen but there's nothing wrong with waiting another day."

"Steve, I don't want to embarrass you, but waiting for any amount of time could give Hydra more time to hurt Bucky, or worse."

Steve looked defeated, he sighed, then pulled Riley into a hug.

"Just be safe," he whispered in her ear.

"Don't worry, Stevie. I'll get him, me and Sam, we'll bring him home."

"Riley!" A yell came from outside the small room.

Riley walked out, looking around, "Sam?"

"Where's my supersuit?"

Riley let out a loud laugh, "What?" She stretched out the word to make it more dramatic.

"Where. Is. My. Super. Suit." Sam paused after each word for emphasis, he stepped out of the corner with a smile on his face, obviously holding back laughter.

"I, uh, put it away."

"Where?"

"Why do you need to know?" Riley tried to sound as sassy as possible without laughing.

"I need it!"

Riley made a noise of disagreement. "Don't you dare go runnin' off to do no dare-do. We've been planning this dinner for two months!"

"The public is in danger!"

"My evening's in danger!"

"You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!"

"Greater good? I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you are ever gonna get!" She pointed her finger at him, trying, and failing, to contain herself.

Riley and Sam made eye contact and fell into a fit of laughter.

"What, uh, what just happened?" Steve asked from behind them.

"Have you never seen 'The Incredibles' Steve?" Nat said with a smirk on her face.

"Don't worry guys," Sam said once he composed himself, "My supersuit is right here."

\----

Riley was sitting in the pilot seat beside Sam, they were on their way to the Hydra facility.

Riley was trying, and failing, to mask her anxiety.

Sam looked over and sent her a reassuring look.

"Stop worrying so much, Ri. We'll get him okay?"

"I'm not worried about that," she admitted. "I'm worried about what state he'll be in when we do find him."

"Well he remembered you, right? So they didn't use the - what did you two call it? - the Memory Stealer, you guys really should've thought of something better to call it."

"There's other ways to torture someone then just stealing their memories. Hydra likes to stick to old school mostly, knives and such. You saw the tapes."

"He's a strong guy, he can handle it."

"Of course he can handle it, that doesn't mean he should be subjected to it."

Sam turned and stared at her, "Is this because you think it's your fault?"

Riley bowed her head, "It is my fault. If it weren't for me, if I didn't go to that diner all those months ago, if I didn't pass out because of one measly shot to the shoulder, he wouldn't be in this mess."

"You can't seriously be kicking yourself for passing out from a gunshot. You were shot Riley, you aren't expected to be fine after that, even with your super freaky fast healing."

"I've taken worse and been fine."

"Are you even listening to yourself? It's not your fault! Okay? So stop blaming yourself."

Maybe it was the way he said it, maybe it was that it was coming from Sam, maybe it was because she wanted it to be true, but she listened and actually believed him.

"You're the best Sam."

"I know."

Riley let the comfortable silence fall but she soon thought of something important enough to break it.

"This is a trap, you know it, I know it, we all know it, so they're gonna be on my ass the whole time. If they get me and it's between saving me or Bucky you will save him."

"Ri I can't d-"

"No," she cut him off before he could disagree, "This is a mission to save Bucky and that's what we will do, I can't promise Bucky will try to escape, it's his hero complex, he'll stay to save everyone, but I'll fight tooth and nail to get home. I want him safe, and the only way I can ensure that is if you promise me you will save him over me."

Sam didn't try to disagree again, instead he sighed in defeat, "I don't like that one bit, but for you I'll do it."

"I love you, Sam. You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for."

Sam smiled, "I love you too, Ri. Now let's go kick some Hydra ass."

\----

The two had agreed to try to be stealthy as long as possible, alerting the faculty could compromise the mission. At least that's what Sam said and he was the more sensible one of the two (he said that as well). Riley wanted to go in guns blazing and wipe out as many agents as possible as soon as possible, but the more logical and strategic side of her knew Sam was right (although she didn't tell him that).

When they made it into the building, an agent immediately met them.

Riley reacted quickly, punching him in the face once and instantly knocking him out, pulling him into a closet and turning to Sam. "Stick close to the walls, stay away from any source of light, and follow me."

So they stayed in the shadows, only leaving to knock out another agent or two along the way. Riley was leading, she had been in this facility before, it had been a few years since she had been there (and by a few she meant at least a decade) but she remembered the basic layout, almost all the Hydra bases had the same blueprint.

She made a sharp turn, grabbing Sam by the collar of his shirt and pulling him in the small room.

He looked around and turned to her, a confused look on his face.

"Why are we in a bathroom?" He whispered.

Riley sent him a look that said Shut Up They Could Hear You and pointed to the ceiling.

"You want to go in the vents? Are you crazy?"

Riley rolled her eyes and nodded, "Yes, now get on your knees and boost me up."

Sam didn't complain any longer (he thought it was actually a good idea, but he would never tell Riley that), he bent down and Riley put her foot in his clasped hands.

"Don't drop me, Wilson."

He rolled his eyes and heaved her up into the vents.

She climbed in and spun slightly dropping her hand down through the hole so she could help Sam up.

Once they were both in the vents Riley whispered, "Okay, they should be keeping him in the prisoners ward which is in the west side of the building, as long as we aren't made we should be able to get there with no problem."

"There is a problem though, I think I'm too broad."

Riley attempted to turn her head to look at Sam behind her (it was much more difficult than she thought it would be) and had to cover her mouth to muffle the laughter that threatened to escape her.

Sam was looking at her with a look full of annoyance, his shoulders were indeed the width of the ductwork.

"You're going to have to army crawl the shit out of this one, Sammy."

She started moving forward and ignored the glare Sam was giving her.

Surprisingly enough, they made it without any further problems, the vents turned out to be a good idea, as there was heavy security outside the doors leading to the cells.

Riley carefully opened the vent cover and looked down.

She waited until the guard was right underneath the opening and jumped down, landing on his shoulders. She spun around, locking her ankles and tightening her thighs against the man's neck, choking him and using her strength to flip him over. She dismounted and landed on her knees.

When she looked up she saw Sam knocking down the other guard.

She grabbed the keys from the man's belt and ran over to unlock the gate to the cage-like cell that was holding Bucky.

"Buck." She breathed, looking at him. He was sitting in the corner, knees to his chest, staring at the wall ahead of him. When he didn't turn, she repeated his name louder.

He turned towards her and Riley felt her heart break.

His face was bruised and bloody and his shirt was soaked in blood and teared. He simply looked broken, more so than he was in the video they had received.

"Riley?"

"It's me Buck, I'm here." She ran to him, collapsing down beside him and pulling him into her.

He pulled away from her, looking at her for a second before grabbing her face and pressing their lips together.

"Let's break it up now, kids. We're still in the belly of the beast."

Riley pulled back and smiled at Bucky, "We're continuing this when we get home."

She stood up and held out her hand, Bucky grabbed it and pulled himself up.

He nodded at Sam, giving his thanks.

"Okay so the easy part is done, we have to get all three of us out of here and the vents aren't going to work this time. It was tight up there with two of us, I'm not risking it with three. We have to be at least halfway to the exit before they notice Bucky's gone unless," she spun around to Sam. "Can you disable the cameras?"

Sam seemed to ponder the question for a minute before saying, "I can do it, but I have to be in the control room.

Riley nodded, "Then we split up, Sam goes to the control room while Bucky and I clear a path to the exit. If Sam gets into trouble he can send Redwing. We really should've thought of comms."

"No," Bucky said, Sam and Riley turned to him. "We wait until after Sam disables the cameras, then we make the path."

Red lights started flashing and a siren went off as Riley and Sam started to agree.

"Looks like we go now." Riley said, looking to Bucky.

"What? No. What if you two get caught?" Sam asked.

Riley and Bucky looked at each other, debating a plan silently. Bucky started to shake his head while Riley nodded.

"No Riley that's a terrible id-" Bucky started.

"We plan on it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and welcome to the end of part 2, better than the end of 2.8 as the end of part 2 hopefully.
> 
> this wasn't my original plan but hey it works.
> 
> one more part to go.
> 
> [as a warning, prepare yourself]
> 
> did you like the little 'Incredibles' scene in there? I thought we could use some humor for what's about to come plus that movie's a classic
> 
> thank you so so so soooo much for reading, i really hope you enjoyed.
> 
> \- kay


	21. 3.1 : " REMEMBER WHEN YOU LEFT? "

Sam looked at Riley with a dumbfounded expression on his face, he shook his head.

"I don't say this often, but I agree with Armless over there. That's a horrible idea." (Sam ignored the bitchface thrown his way by Bucky).

"Look they know we're here so stealth is out anyways. Send Redwing for backup if you need it, Bucky and I have to go. Take the vents to the control room and Sam?" Riley paused. Sam looked in her eyes, as a signal for her to continue, "Be safe."

Sam gave her his signature smirk and said, "As always."

With that Riley pulled out her gun and tried to open the door.

"It's locked. Sam why is it locked?"

"They can probably lock it from the control room."

"Then go!"

Bucky bent down and helped boost Sam into the vent. When he was gone, Bucky turned to Riley.

"You shouldn't have came."

Riley looked at him, bewildered, "Why? Did you enjoy your time spent in the corner of a cell in a Hydra facility? You know, the same Hydra that ruined our lives and tortured and weaponized us?" She was starting to get angry, and the look she was giving Bucky showed it.

"No, of course not. It's just, this is a trap. They told me that, they wanted you, and I would've gladly spent the rest of my life in this hellhole if that meant they didn't get you."

Riley felt her gaze soften, "Buck you know I couldn't let you rot in here."

"They knew it too."

She narrowed her eyes, "What are you saying?"

"I'm your weakness. Which isn't as flattering as some people would make it out to be. It's terrifying and I hate it. I hate that they - that anyone - can use me against you."

"Well tough shit, asshole. That's what happens when you have people you love. Bad people try to take the good things in your life and we just have to live with that. Someone could just as easily take me and you would run right into a trap to save me too." 

The problem was, Riley knew where he was coming from. If sacrificing herself meant that Bucky would be safe, she wouldn't even need a second to decide. She too hated that it was easy to get to her by using her ever-so-annoying human emotions. That didn't mean, however, that it was out of the ordinary. Especially in a world like the one they were apart of.

Bucky lowered his head, he knew she was right. Riley walked over to him and lightly pushed up on his chin so he would look at her.

"I love you, okay? Nothing will change that, no matter how many times I have to come into these damned Hydra cesspools to save your sorry ass."

She heard a slight clicking noise that pulled her away from him.

The light on the side of the door was now glowing a bright green, the door was unlocked.

The pair were immediately greeted by a group of Hydra agents with guns at the ready. The same guards, Riley assumed, that her and Sam avoided by taking the vents in.

"Soldier, Devastation, come with us and no one gets hurt." One of the masked men said.

Riley turned her head towards Bucky, suppressing the urge to laugh. As if they would come so easily.

"They never learn do they?"

She threw a gun to him and leaped into battle.

Her first opponent was a short, stocky man, Riley knew she could easily take him down but she also knew better than to underestimate him.

She used her momentum from her running start to deliver a clean punch to his gut. She squated down when he countered a punch of his own towards her face. She kicked out, effectively making him lose his balance. Riley took this as an opportunity to jump up and use both of her feet to kick the man in the chest, sending him flying backwards into two agents that made the mistake of standing behind him.

Riley didn't flinch at the sound of Bucky's gun firing, nor did she seem fazed when she had to step over bloody bodies to continue down the hall, Bucky trailing behind her.

Once they turned the corner more Hydra agents filed in.

Riley immediately punched the first in the head to which he let out a hiss.

"Bitch!"

Now Riley's original plan didn't involve killing the Hydra agents, she knew that wasn't really the Avengers' style, but she always did have a bit of a temper problem when someone evil decided to insult her.

She looked at the Hydra agent with rage in her eyes and grabbed her gun.

It didn't take long for her to shoot down the men standing in her way.

They continued down the hall, the sirens were still blaring and the lights were still flashing but she managed to see Redwing coming towards them.

There was a sticky note stuck to the front of him that said "FOLLOW ME"

Riley grabbed Bucky's arm and started pulling him towards Redwing.

Sam must still be in the control room, Riley thought, We haven't run into any more agents.

Their luck soon ran out when the two were lead the wrong way and ended up in a dead end.

Riley silently cursed Sam.

There were agents coming out of the door in front of them, they were trapped.

Bucky acted quick and pulled Riley into the room to his left.

They hid behind the few boxes that were stacked in the back of the room, directly parallel to the door.

They both held their breaths when a small group walked into the room and flicked on the dim light.

Riley's breath stopped completely when she heard the safety of a gun turn off.

"Are you sure they're in here?" A man's voice echoed through the relatively empty room.

"That red thing flew in here, I'm sure of it." Another voice answered.

Riley looked up at Redwing who was hovering slightly above Bucky's head.

She turned and looked at Bucky.

He mouthed "We've been made. Sounds like there's only two. FIght in 3, 2," then he let his voice raise "Now!"

The world felt like it went in slow motion as the two jumped out from behind the boxes at the same time.

She immediately had to duck to miss a bullet that whizzed past her head. She spun and kicked the gun out of the man's hand, facing him again and throwing her arms up to block the fast punches coming her way, managing to land a few herself.

Delivering a swift kick to the gut was enough to make the agent stumble backwards, she used her advantage to grab her gun and shoot him once in the head.

She looked over in enough time to see Bucky knockout his opponent.

They shared a moment of victory until an entire squad of agents dressed in tactical gear from head to toe surrounded them.

Riley whispered a soft "Shit" to herself before looking frantically to Bucky who looked as if he had seen a ghost.

"Mary?" Bucky asked, his voice sounded broken and surprised. Riley looked from him to the person leading the squad, noticing that they were in fact a woman.

"Who the fuck is Mary?" Riley asked, glaring at the woman. She ignored the confusion she felt at the fact that there was a woman in a Hydra building, let alone a woman that seemed to be in a powerful position. If it weren't Hydra, Riley would've been proud of her.

"She- She checked on me after I was tortured, she was nice."

The woman in front of the herd of Hydra agents let out a laugh that resembled more of a cackle, in Riley's opinion.

"And you were naive and stupid enough to believe that you had a friend in a place like this."

"Why? It's not like you used that as an opportunity to manipulate me."

"We didn't need that, we needed answers. We always knew the importance you held and love," Riley could've sworn there was disgust and venom dripping from the word love as she said it, "You resembled for Devastation, we were curious if you felt the same. It was answers we needed so we could update the formula, improve it, so that it would destroy love too." Bucky and Riley shared a look, "Kill the Soldier, we don't need him anymore, but make him suffer."

Riley stepped in front of him. "I'd like to see you fucking try."

"Very well then." Mary made a hand gesture and there were four agents on Riley quicker than she could respond with a snappy comment.

Riley tried to shoot them, but her gun was out of ammo.

She desperately wanted to know where Sam was so he could help, but she had no way to contact him, for Redwing was nowhere to be seen and it wasn't like she had the time to send him anywhere (if she even could, it's not like Sam gave her a rundown on all the things Redwing could do. Now thinking about it she thought Tony would have been able to tell her these things, considering he's the one that made it).

Bucky was fighting off agents as well, being considerably more successful than she was until he too ran out of ammo (which didn't take long).

They were surrounded, and Riley was grabbed, an agent's arms underneath her own, holding them in the air while his hands were clasped together on the back of her head, pulling them back every so often so a shooting pain would radiate from her shoulders through her body.

"Loosen up would ya? Jeez, were you trained in the WWE? This isn't time for a submission."

Riley's request fell flat as Mary smiled sadistically and Bucky's jaw clenched.

Bucky was roughly shoved to the floor, he looked up at Mary, hate burning in his eyes.

"You won't kill me." He taunted, "You wouldn't kill half of Project Ghost."

"Oh really?" Mary didn't even blink as she raised her gun from her side and shot twice, both bullets tearing through Bucky's abdomen.

Both Riley and Bucky let their screams tear through their lips.

Riley could feel her heart shatter as she saw the blood leave Bucky's body at a profuse rate and create pools of red on the grey cement floor.

"You bitch! Get off of me, you stupid fucking Nazi asshole! BUCKY!"

He had fallen forward on the floor, directly into the puddles of his own blood, head turned slightly so he could look at Riley. His eyes drooped.

"Ri..."

"No, Bucky, you can't do this. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU."

"Riley please." 

His voice was almost nonexistent, like a whisper lost in the wind. She could barely make out his pleas.

Riley felt the sobs rack through her body as she looked down at Bucky.

"You can't die Bucky, I need you."

His eyes opened slightly, just enough for Riley to see the beautiful shade of blue.

"I love you."

And his eyes closed.

If Riley thought her heart broke before, hearing her love's last words tore apart her soul.

Her very being was destroyed by the death of her Bucky.

She had failed, and she lost everything.

"NO DON'T DO THIS TO ME PLEASE," Riley didn't know who she was yelling at at this point, whether it was to Bucky or to Mary or to a God she didn't believe in but was willing to if He would spare her from this pain.

She looked at him and screamed out in pure pain and agony as his eyes stayed closed and she was dragged away through a door they had never notice was there.

She knew she hadn't stopped crying or screaming, but the world was silent.

She couldn't hear anything but the sound of the gunshots that had ripped through her Bucky.

She felt empty, as if she had died too, right beside him.

She didn't fight when the Hydra agent that had her restrained injected her with something that immediately made her see black. In fact, she welcomed it because nothingness felt a whole hell of a lot better than the pain she felt now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> . . . . . 
> 
> are you crying? i cried. like a small child. 
> 
> i know, what a way to start part 3.
> 
> don't say i didn't warn you.
> 
> just trust me friends, we will get through this, we will move on. 
> 
> also this chapter was almost 3000 words which means it is now the longest chapter in this story. * cue applause *
> 
> [edit: this chapter is no longer almost 3000 words nor is it the longest chapter (at least I don't think so). i left that part in because i didn't feel like deleting it. originally 3.1 was combined with 2.9 but as i read through it i found myself losing interest which is NOT what you want when a main character dies. so i apologize.]
> 
> thank you so much for sticking with me for 20 chapters of this mediocre, slightly terrible, slightly cliche, not greatly written, story. i appreciate it more than you know.
> 
> until next time, thank you for reading
> 
> \- kay


	22. 3.2 : " YEAH I THOUGHT IT WAS MEAN "

Riley wasn't sure how much time had passed since that night.

Although she could just count each disregarded meal to find out; one tray means one day and there were quite a few carelessly thrown in the corner.

To her, it felt like it just happened. The vivid images of Bucky falling, his blood, the sound of the gun shooting, the slightly visible smoke coming from the barrel, his screams of physical pain mixing with the sound of hers from what felt like physical pain, his eyes closing and never re-opening, Mary and her evil smirk as she watched the death of Bucky and the downfall of Riley; they all flashed in her mind. She relived the experience of her death over and over, far past the point of her being able to handle it.

They had moved buildings, Riley didn't remember the move, nor did she seem to care about it. Not that she seemed to care about anything anymore. How could she? Her heart was broken, her soul was damaged, what could she use to care?

She was dirty. She could smell herself amongst other rotten smells that included, but were not limited to, rotten food, new and old piles of vomit, and feces belonging to not only her but the rats that occupied her cell as well. Her hair was matted to a point where all three hair ties she normally kept on her wrist were lost in it from her futile attempts to keep her hair pulled back while she vomited. Old tears were soaked up by her skin, her eyes red and her under eye area puffy from her relentless crying; the new tears that fell from her eyes creating visible lines that cut through the dirt staining her face.

She stayed silent when the guards came into her cell. She didn't even contain the energy to glare at them, she didn't even lift her head in acknowledgement.

Once a guard thought she was dead, little to his knowledge she was. Not that that mattered to Hydra. No, all they cared about was her body, it didn't matter what happened to her mind.

But once the guards left, she whispered to herself, her head still down towards the floor.

"Are we safe?"

She'd ask the ground the same question every day, every time they'd come for her, every time she returned to the cell, every time she missed him, every time she heard someone behind her and thought, for even a second, that maybe it was Bucky.

She never got an answer. Not even the evil guards that sat outside her cell 24/7, that heard her everytime she asked it, had the heart to respond.

When she was taken out of the cell she was never thrown to the Memory Stealer.

But why would she be? There is no greater torture than knowing the person you love is dead, that you were there when it happened, that you didn't stop it, and that it's your fault; not even having your identity and memories stolen from you could match half of that pain.

Instead she would be taken to what appeared to be an operating room.

She didn't know what they did to her while she was in there.

All she knew was darkness would overtake her and it was the only amount of sleep she had gotten since that night.

When she was in the cell she would stay in the corner with her knees to her chest and facing towards the wall; the same way Bucky sat when she found him.

Every night she would look through the window at the very top of the cement wall, through the three steel bars eliminating any possibility of squeezing through, and look into the stars, hoping Bucky was among them, looking back.

She always asked the stars, as if they had answers, why fate was so cruel to her.

"Why me?"

She could hear the guards outside the cell talking about her.

She listened, but it didn't register.

"She's gone crazy, I tell you. Certifiably insane."

"Well wouldn't you? They were assassins, sure, but they were in love, and he was killed right in front of her!"

"That didn't really happen. Those are just the rumors."

"Oh yeah, and I bet you would know the truth, 'cause you were there."

"Cut the sarcasm, no one knows the truth because everyone that was in that base is dead."

"Even Mary?"

"No, the bitch is still kicking."

"A damn shame."

Riley blocked out the rest of the men's conversation.

The only thing that stuck in her mind was "everyone that was in that base is dead."

It took her a minute to realize that meant Sam was dead too.

Not for the first time, she let out an ear-splitting wail.

But for the first time it wasn't for Bucky.

Riley cried, and she cried, and she cried for her best friend.

She cried for the life she stole from him.

She cried for the jokes she would no longer here from him.

She cried for the loss of his personality from the world; for it was one that this world could use.

She cried because Sam was the most amazing human she had ever met and now he was dead because of her.

She cried for Steve, who lost both of his best friends and his only family.

She cried for Natasha who, even though she would never admit it, had loved Sam.

She cried for the rest of the Avengers that lost a friend and ally and valuable member of the team.

She cried for the people that will die because Sam Wilson wouldn't be there to protect them.

She cried because Sam Wilson was a hero, even before he was an Avenger, and she took that away. She took away the kind of hero the world needed.

And then she stopped.

Because crying wasn't going to do anything, but action would. 

For the first time since that night she let herself have a sliver of hope, because Riley wasn't going to let Sam's, or even Bucky's, death be in vain.

She may not be an Avenger, but she promised the stars she would avenge the deaths of her friends.

She still kept her head low and her voice almost nonexistent, she still complied and looked to the stars everynight; but Riley was planning.

She was planning an escape.

She was planning revenge.

She was planning on living, because there was too much blood on her hands for her to die.

Hydra had turned her into a weapon, more so than she knew, and she was going to use that weapon to destroy them.


	23. 3.3 : " I LET YOU FOOL ME TWICE "

Riley didn't jump when the gate to her cell was thrown open roughly, the metal from the door slamming into the metal of the wall, creating a sound that caused even the mice to scurry away.

Her head didn't turn when she heard the heavy fall of boot clad feet stomp their way into the cell and right behind her.

Her eyes stayed trained on the crack in the cement wall in front of her as she was grabbed from underneath her arms and lifted into the air.

Her body stayed limp as she was thrown to the ground and ordered to move.

For the first time since she was captured she voluntarily lifted her head and looked directly into the eyes of the agent who threw her.

She didn't say anything, but she stayed on the ground.

A silent protest.

The Hydra agent ignored the determined look on the girl's face and bent down, moving his face centimeters away from hers.

Riley did not flinch despite how much she wanted to get her face away from the man's.

(if this was the Riley before the death of two of the five people she cared about she would've made a comment about the man's use of toothpaste, or, in his case, the lack thereof.)

When she stayed still and defiant, with no intentions of wavering, the man leaned back, only to spit in her face.

Riley closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Her plan was still developing, it needed more time, she couldn't lash out now and use what little strength she had left.

So she stood up and allowed herself to be shoved harshly through the Hydra base.

When the set of double doors in front of her swung open and the Memory Stealer sat in the center of the room Riley felt herself stiffen, the guards shoving her felt it too.

"No. No. No. No, nononono, please. No."

She kept repeating the word, gradually saying it louder and louder until she was yelling it out, shaking her head, digging her heels in the ground, doing anything and everything in her power to stop the trip towards the chair.

It's a good thing there was a guard on either side of her to keep her standing upright because she was sure she would collapse with relief when they lead her towards the right side of the room, away from the chair.

Her relief, however, was short lived when she was thrown onto, a rather cold in her opinion, table that resembled the ones that she should been put on previously.

She let herself struggle against the restraints being put on her legs, arms, and across her abdomen, earning her a slap across her face.

She stopped struggling and winced when the restraints were pulled even tighter, to the point where they were burrowing into her skin.

"Devastation, it's an honor."

Riley felt her jaw clench at the mention of her name, the man let out a chuckle.

"She doesn't like that name apparently. You should, she's done great things."

A man in a white lab coat leaned over her so that she could see them, Riley assumed he was the one who had been talking.

She remained silent, Lab Coat took this as a sign to continue.

"I am Doctor Byr." Riley felt that his introduction was eerily similar to that of Doctor Zola, before he turned her into Devastation. "I am sure you have questions, but I am not here to answer them. I am here to finish what Doctor Zola started almost 80 years ago."

Doctor Byr made his way over to a silver tray. "When you were first captured, Zola told you he made you unique. Well he didn't mean The Serum since you weren't even one of a kind then. No, he meant he started another experiment. He wanted to create someone with telepathic abilities. He was not successful, obviously. But he started the procedure, all that time ago, you literally have that potential running through your veins."

He started back over to Riley, a metal syringe in his hand, the serum inside was glowing green. Riley tried to break the restraints at the sight of it.

"We can't let that potential go to waste now, can we?"

The closer he got the more Riley struggled, agents were at her side immediately, holding her down even more.

He smiled sadistically as he pushed pushed the green glowing liquid into her veins.

Riley screamed out as she immediately got a headache equal to the feeling of her head being thrown against a brick building repeatedly for an hour.

"To be clear, you won't really be telepathic, no. This is a much more controlled variable. This serum - this gift - should give you the ability to access and manipulate another person's mind, thoughts, feelings, memories. You won't only be able to devastate the human body, as your name suggests, you'll be able to devastate their brain. You will be . . . unstoppable."

Riley's screams worsened, her eyes closed, the pain was unbearable, and, soon, she couldn't hear, see, feel, anything.

The only thought going through her mind was that, once again, she was being turned into a weapon by Hydra.

She was floating, boundless, like a ghost.


	24. 3.4 : " WELL SHAME ON ME "

Riley was sitting in the corner, like she usually did, looking hostility at her hands.

It had only been a week, or so she guessed, since she was given these powers and she was terrified of them.

Who should be able to manipulate another's brain with the flick of a wrist?

Byr told her she should be thankful, that she should feel gratitude towards him, that he picked her to have these powers.

They had wanted her to use them, to "try them out", during many of her "re-training" sessions, but she wouldn't.

Every time the green energy swirled between her fingers she would stop immediately and allow herself to be subjected to the consequences that, surprisingly enough, never came.

Byr had refused any mention of hurting her, as if he had some humanity left within him.

Riley thought it was just because she was his lab rat, and he didn't want the results of his tests to be altered in a way that was not caused by the serum itself.

If she was thankful for anything it was that they had yet to use the Memory Stealer on her.

She didn't know why, it made sense while she was still grieving the deaths of her best friend and the love of her unusually long life, but now it didn't seem tactical.

Remembering their deaths gave her something to fight for, something to fight against. Knowing that Hydra is the reason they are dead makes them an enemy, not an ally. If anything, remembering them would work against Hydra, not for them.

Riley counted it as a win and tried not to think too much about it, afraid she might jinx herself and be memory-less.

She looked up when the door to her cell creaked open, as if someone tried to open it gently so that the scraping sound from the friction between the cement floor and the metal door would ring out through the small cell.

She let her eyes narrow as Doctor Byr stepped in, surrounded by an army of guards, with his hand held out towards her and a smile on his face.

"I could make every single one of your guards turn on you without blinking an eye," she said slowly, trying to be as threatening as possible.

Instead of cowering in fear like she hoped, Byr let out a low chuckle and shook his head, "I have full faith in your capabilities, seeing as I created them myself, but no. You cannot do that, but I can show you what you can do."

"And what makes you think I want to do this now?"

"Because you were a scientist, so long ago, and if I'm correct your inner curiosity wants to know just what you are capable of. That is, after all, how you felt once you created the serum that turned your dear cousin into Captain America, am I wrong?"

Bry put his hand back out for Riley to grab.

She looked at it then pushed herself up and dusted off her ripped up leggings.

"Well? Show me."

He offered her a tight smile and dropped his hand, turned to the group of men behind him, "Lead the way."

Riley followed closely behind, mainly because there were three guards behind her, periodically pushing her if she started to slow down.

At least she wasn't cuffed.

Always have to find the positives, right?

She was so lost in thought that she almost didn't realize that the guards in front of her had stopped and she almost ran into them.

Almost.

Doctor Byr, with his fingers pressed against his ear, sighed and turned towards Riley.

"There's been a change of plans."

He gave a slight nod and Riley could only see black.

When she woke up, Riley was strapped into a chair with a woman pacing in front of her.

At first, Riley didn't recognize her, but as her vision got more and more clear Riley realized who she was.

And once she did, Riley tried to bust out of the restraints, but found they were too tight.

"Oh, I'm sorry hunny," the woman said when Riley let out a whimper of pain. "Are you hurt?" She stopped pacing and bent down so she was eye level with Riley and smirked, "You're going to have to deal with that."

"Do you get off on being a bitch, Mary?"

The woman laughed, "Tsk, tsk, Devastation. We wouldn't want any accidents to happen, would we?" She paused, as if she was expecting a snarky reply. She smirked and continued when there wasn't one, "Now, I have a mission for you."

"What makes you think I'll do it?" Riley looked her in the eye, trying to be as defiant as she could while being tied against her will.

"I have a secret, a confession. One that, I believe, you would quite enjoy. Do what I ask, and I'll tell you everything."

"I don't want anything from you."

"Oh I don't know about that. What if, hypothetically speaking of course, what I know is about the Soldier."

Riley stood up, or she tried to, the restraints on her arms and legs forbade it and she was restricted from standing.

"That got your attention."

"What is it? What do you know about him?"

"Ah, ah, ah. Mission first, secrets later."

Riley knew she shouldn't trust her, she knew that Mary would double cross her in a second, but she couldn't help but agree.

She would do anything for Bucky, anything.

Reluctantly, she nodded, and Mary smiled wide.

"I knew you'd come around."

Mary looked at her for a seconds, soaking in the victory, before looking directly into Riley's eyes.

"желание"

Riley felt her heart skip a beat.

"You have my cooperation, you don't need to do that."

"разрушенный"

"It's not necessary, asshole."

"восемнадцать"

"Stop!"

"рассвет"

"Please, no."

"до"

Someone from the back, an agent (probably newly recruited), walked up to Mary. "I - I think you're hurting her."

Riley looked at Mary with pain filled eyes, "Please."

Mary didn't continue. "In case you get any ideas of escaping, or of not completing the mission, you will be wearing a specially designed earpiece that will say those ten words along with a command that you don't want to know. We have you, you can't escape."

Riley swallowed hard and nodded frantically, hating that she could be so easily manipulated.

"Your mission is to sway an asset. It really shouldn't be hard given your newfound . . . abilities. I expect it to be completed by the end of the night. We've done all the heavy lifting, you just have to get him on our side."

Recruitment was better than murder, Riley considered herself lucky.

"So this is a field test? You want to see what I can do."

She was ignored. "You leave in an hour, I expect you to be presentable by then."

Riley was even dirtier than she was the previous week, still not having been granted the opportunity to get clean.

Riley stood up after her restraints were cut from her, rubbing her wrists she looked into Mary's eyes, silently cursing her into oblivion.

Once her plan of revenge was put into action, Mary would be the first she'd kill, Riley promised herself that.

\----

Riley didn't know how she had found herself in this situation.

Here she was, dressed in a size too small gold dress and impractical heels, standing in what looked to be an important person's office with the asset standing in front of her with a gun pointed at her.

She knew that if she had a handle on her powers she'd be able to get this guy to drop the gun, but she didn't know how to use them.

She was afraid she'd have to kill him.

"Please, don't make me do this." She whispered, hoping the microphone in the earpiece would pick it up, when the beginning of the dreaded words began she spoke up again, "Hydra has been looking for you."

"H - Hydra? The Avengers have been looking for someone who matches your description and you're with Hydra?"

"They're looking for me?"

Riley visibly flinched when she heard "желание"

Riley quickly disarmed the man and threw the gun to the other side of the room.

Not knowing what to do next, but filled with fear of being put under their control, she grabbed the man with both hands and looked directly into his eyes.

She spoke with as much conviction as she could, "Hydra are the good guys, whatever they want from you, you will give them."

Riley tried not to jump back when she saw the green energy emerge from her fingertips and into the man, she tried to muffle the sound of surprise when his eyes flashed a bright green and he nodded.

"Well done," she heard. "Now get back."

\----

When she got back, Mary was standing there waiting for her.

Riley wasted no time, "What do you know about Bucky?"

"You almost compromised the mission. I shouldn't tell you."

Riley grabbed her and threw her against the wall, holding her there.

"Tell me what you know." She almost spit the words out, holding one hand up to show off the green energy dancing around her fingers.

There was fear in her eyes as Mary looked from Riley's hand to her face.

"Don't do it."

Riley moved her hands to Mary's throat.

"Tell me."

She said it so quietly Riley almost didn't hear her, she was in shock.

She didn't fight back when guards came after her, she didn't do anything when she was being beat for what she had done.

All she could do was stare at Mary with an unreadable expression on her face, those two words ringing in her ears.

"He's alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations
> 
> желание - desire
> 
> разрушенный - destroyed
> 
> восемнадцать - eighteen
> 
> рассвет - dawn
> 
> до - before


	25. 3:5 " THAT NIGHT STILL HAUNTS MY DREAMS "

Pain. There was so much pain.

But that was to be expected after being shot twice.

His abdomen hurt, sure, but hearing Riley's scream mix with his made his heart shatter.

He could barely hear her yelling, only catching his name fall frantically and painfully from her lips.

He could feel himself falling, he tried so hard to hold on, for Riley's sake.

"Ri.."

It was all he could manage.

He could hear her yelling, but he couldn't make out the words.

He mustered up all the strength he could to tell her what he needed to say, what she needed to hear.

But she had to look at him in the eyes, he wanted - no, he needed - to see her eyes one more time, for the last time.

"Riley please."

His eyes closed, everything took an extreme amount of effort, more energy than he had.

She was speaking again, he could only hear a weak "I need you."

He used his left over strength to open his eyes as far as he could, far enough to where he could see hers.

"I love you."

And he let himself fall.

Right into the darkness.

Bucky launched up from his laying position, wincing from the pain the sudden movement caused.

"Hey, hey, hey let's lay back down."

A pair of hands lightly pushed Bucky back down onto the bed.

It was then that Bucky realized he was in an infirmary of sorts.

He tried to speak but was greeted with a very dry mouth and a sore throat.

The man, who he now recognized as Sam, shook his head and gave him a small, sympathetic smile.

"You've been out for a while, Soldier, you'll need a minute to speak."

He handed Bucky a bottle of water that he graciously accepted and immediately drained.

When Bucky opened his mouth again, Sam stopped him, "I'll be right back, I promised Steve I'd tell him if - sorry, when - you woke up."

With that, he darted out the door and didn't return, but Steve did.

"Buck," he said breathlessly, almost running to his side.

"H-how long was I out?" Bucky managed to choke out.

"It's been a month. We've all been so scared, Buck. We almost lost you three times. They told me to give up, but I wouldn't, Riley wouldn't want me to." His eyes widened and started watering at the same time, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have mentioned her, I'm so stupid."

"Where is she?"

"You mean you don't remember?"

"She was there, when I was shot. I remember that, but I don't know what happened to her afterwards." His face fell when he put together the dots, "They don't have her, do they?"

Steve's head fell. "When Sam went in the room to save you two, she was gone and you were basically dead. He did what he promised Riley, he saved you."

Bucky sat up, ignoring the pain this time, and ripped out the IV in his arm, trying to stand up and leave the room.

"We have to get her, Steve. She could be hurt, we gotta -"

"No. You have to heal," Steve tried to push him, gently, back down on the bed, stopping him from leaving. "You just woke up from a coma that you've been in for a month. You were shot twice in the gut and died. Okay? You aren't going anywhere until we get a doctor in here and they say you can move."

"Have you guys even tried to look for her?" Bucky spit out. Apparently, that was the wrong question to ask.

Steve's eyes widened in surprise but soon they narrowed into small slits, he was seething with anger. Instead of continuing trying to push him onto the bed, Steve grabbed the thin shirt around Bucky's neck and pulled him closer to him.

"Do you really think we would just let her rot somewhere with Hydra? Do you really believe that we would do nothing to try to find her? Think about how close she was with Sam, think about how she was family, think about how much she meant to every single person on this team then ask yourself if we would care enough to find her. Do you think you are the only one affected by this? Do you know the guilt Sam feels for leaving her? The guilt we all feel for letting her go? No, Bucky, we are all hurting. Just because she loved you doesn't mean she didn't love us all. Just because you love her doesn't mean we don't either. So get it through your brain that we all are dealing with this. That we are all doing whatever we can to find her. Now sit your ass down and heal. We need your help."

Bucky, taken aback from Steve's authoritative behavior, layed back down on the bed and nodded.

He looked up to see Steve taking a deep breath and start walking towards the exit.

"You used past tense."

"Excuse me?" Steve asked, confused, stopping to turn to Bucky.

"You said 'how close she was' 'she loved you'. You used past tense. You don't think," he cleared his throat, blocking the sobs threatening to break free, "You don't think she's dead, do you?"

Steve's eye's filled with tears and emotion, "We don't know."

With that he left, and Bucky let his tears flow.

He didn't know how long he spent crying.

When he finally stopped, he sniffed hard, wiped his tear stained cheeks, and whispered just loud enough for himself to hear, "I'm safe. Are you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeey so buck and sam are alive which is always good.
> 
> once again we did not reach the 1000 word limit but i tried. sorry.
> 
> i hope this cleared up some questions about the time that passed. 
> 
> basically from the time bucky "died" to the time we pick up in 3.2 with Riley is a month span, the month that Bucky was out which means we have 2 weeks or so to play with for Bucky to when Riley gets sent on that mission and gets her powers.
> 
> hopefully that makes some sense.
> 
> i didn't want that short of time to pass, since i wanted bucky's injury to be serious since he died from it, ya know? but i couldn't let riley be the way she was longer than that because she's a bamf and she'd be devising a plan to break out, even in her state, after a month.
> 
> basically it was really hard to think of the time so i apologize if it's confusing.
> 
> thank you for reading
> 
> \- kay


	26. 3.6 : " I'VE BEEN CHASING GHOSTS "

Riley was, once again, unaware of the time that passed.

This time though, she wasn't plagued by sadness, she was riddled with confusion.

She had spent hours upon hours thinking, coming up with theories, as to how he could be alive.

It took her awhile, but she thought she had finally come to a plausible conclusion.

Sam and her had had a conversation on the way to the Hydra base, he promised her he would try to save Bucky over her. She remembered Redwing flying out of the room, right before Bucky was 'killed'. As of now, her theory was that Sam had followed through with his promise, that he saved Bucky.

But then how would they know he was alive?

All they could go on was a possibility that Sam managed to save him, as he was shot twice in the abdomen.

However they managed to give Riley false hope. They made her believe that maybe, just maybe, Bucky was still alive and Sam was okay.

And that was all the motivation she needed to continue on with her plan.

She squinted as the heavy metal door of the metal and concrete room she was transferred to opened and light poured into the pitch black room.

She looked up to the intruder who glared down at her and roughly grabbed her by the arm and yanked her upwards.

She was shoved down back into a wall and let out a small 'oomph' of surprise and pain.

Before she could realize what was happening, two men came out of the shadows and started to restrain her hands and legs with the chains connected to the wall.

"What the hell? Are we in a dungeon?" She croaked, throat raw and dry from lack of use and dehydration.

The man on her right slapped her, "You only speak when you are spoken to." He demanded.

Riley closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the wall. "It's like we're in the 1900s all over again. You do realize women are more than just babymakers now, right?"

"You are no woman," the same man seethed, "You are just a prisoner with more value alive than dead."

"That's where you're wrong, pal. I'm just a monster. That's what you made me. Less than human."

"Oh no you're not." The man in front of her, who took her here, said, stepping forward, "You are more than human. We made you a savior."

Riley kept silent, a wrong move on her part as she had finally stopped distracting them from their original objective.

"Now," the man on her left spoke up, "Are you with us?" He grabbed a knife from his belt, twirling it menacingly, "Or against us?"

Riley looked down at the knife, deciding to call his bluff and stayed silent. Wrong move.

Hydra 2, Riley 0.

The knife was plunged into her side.

She let out a yell, but didn't say anything.

"One more time." She veered her head to the right, where the voice was coming from. "Are you with us?"

Riley looked him in the eye, "I will never be with you. Do you hear me asshole?" Her voice progressively getting louder, "I will never be apart of -" She was cut off by her own scream as another knife was jammed into the other side of her.

Her breaths were getting heavy as she looked down to see a knife sticking out on either side of her.

She could feel the blood trickling down her legs.

"You know the Soldier is alive," The man in front of her spoke up once again, "If you comply we will tell you where he is."

"He's not alive." Riley said, making eye contact with the man. "You killed him, I watched it happen. It's all a rouse!" She proclaimed, the realization hit. She was right, Hydra lied, they always lie. "You can't use him to blackmail me, not anymore."

She could see the anger in the man's eyes.

He grabbed her head and pushed it back so it hit the wall.

She closed her eyes and hung her head down towards her chest.

The two knives were ripped from her skin suddenly and haphazardly, causing her to let out another scream of pain which, in the end, caused her head to hurt worse.

She felt one knife go through her shoulder, she bit down are her lip to stop the scream, biting down so hard she started to taste blood and could feel it dribbling down her chin.

"Just kill me." She said, "I won't ever comply willingly, you'll have to kill me."

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND" the man yelled, causing Riley to close her eyes tight and flinch. "You aren't replaceable. The Winter Soldier? There's plenty of him. But you, oh you, you're something special. Something that can't just be exchanged for a new model. Why do you think we've fought so hard for you? Did you know that we've been watching you since you were born? Did you know how your parents screamed out to you as you sat in your crib and watched them die?" He taunted.

With the little strength she had left, she chuckled. "Want to know how I know you're lying? My parents died in a car crash, I wasn't there."

The man in front of her gave her a knowing smirk, "You mean the Rogers? No, they weren't your parents. I mean your real parents. Your real parents died when you were one, the Rogers adopted you. That's when we lost you, then we found you, but you were protected. But accidents happen, am I wrong?"

If looks could kill the agent would've been dead a hundred times over. She didn't know why, but she could tell he was telling the truth; which made the sting worse.

The man smacked her again and she hissed.

"I'm going to get out of these restraints," She spoke lowly, "And I'm going to kill you."

"There's Devastation talking!" He exclaimed, as if he had accomplished something.

"Oh no. This is Riley speaking. And she's going to rain hell down on you."

The man on her left tsked, "I don't think so." He nodded to the man standing in front of her who smiled sadistically.

"Желание"

"Fuck." She whispered, closing her eyes tightly, trying to block the noise.

"разрушенный"

"No." Her words came out softly.

"восемнадцать"

"Please."

"рассвет"

"Does it hurt?" One of the men taunted her.

"До"

"Stop." She pleaded.

"девять"

She groaned in pain.

"Катастрофа"

She could feel her restraints weakening, she was breaking them without knowing, without telling herself to. She wasn't controlling herself anymore.

She screamed but didn't recoil in pain. Not this time.

"отъезд"

She could hear the restraints being ripped from the wall, she heard the men beside her scurrying away, afraid.

"один"

She fell forward as the chains broke, she looked up as the man said the last word.

"люблю"

She stood up slowly, she looked him in the eye.

"Welcome back, Devastation." He smiled.

Her head shook slowly.

"Devastation... She's not home right now."

Her hands lifted slowly, the green light twirling through her fingers menacingly.

She looked down to it and back to the man.

This time she smirked and threw the energy towards him, watching without a care as he was flung backwards into the wall on the opposite side of the room.

The other men were long gone, she looked around, no longer bothered by the half dried blood and pain.

Hydra 4, Riley 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so everyone's aware, these chapters are written weeks, sometimes months in advance. i actually haven't written anything for this story in a while, when i put this chapter in my drafts it was September 14th, it's not even being published until today (October 17).
> 
> that being said, i want to apologize if any of the characters seem so different from chapter to chapter, that's what happens when there are big gaps between writing.
> 
> i also want to thank you for sticking with this trainwreck. i really appreciate it.
> 
> thank you.
> 
> \- kay


	27. 3.7 : " I WISH I HAD SOMEONE I COULD HOLD "

Riley was storming through the halls of Hydra, ignoring all the red flags being thrown in her brain about the lunacy of this plan.

That was the thing about her plan, she didn't have one.

Any time she encountered a person she would pause, hold out her hand, and let the energy take over, letting it do whatever it wanted with the person on the receiving end. She didn't care anymore.

She made turn after turn, constantly getting lost and turning herself around.

It seemed she didn't know how to get around this base.

That didn't stop her though, she continued making wrong turns, or maybe they were right turns. She didn't know, she didn't even have an idea as to where she wanted to end up.

Part of her wanted to escape, to leave this hell-hole without batting an eye, but the other part of her wanted revenge. And it wanted it bad.

Ultimately the latter won and Riley was aware of her mission.

Find, and kill, Mary.

She now stormed the halls with a purpose, arms swinging slightly at her side, leaned forward, moving at a fast pace, face set in a blank expression.

The only thing that made her stop was a voice coming over the PA system.

"Devastation. How lovely it is to see you storming about."

Riley recognized the voice as Mary and straightened, looking around for the security cameras.

She found one in the leftmost corner of the room, she set her glare to it, "It's been great not seeing your face, however I would like to beat it in. How 'bout you help me out?"

"That's not what you're programmed for."

"You speak as if I'm a robot you can control. I'm not. Your silly words didn't work on me, not this time."

"How can you be so sure? After the words you were met with unspeakable power and purpose, I'd say they worked just fine."

"You aren't controlling me." It sounded as if Riley was trying to convince herself.

"Oh but I am. I'm your source of power, your resent towards me is fueling your power."

"Then come out and face me! See what my power can do!" Riley yelled, eager for a fight.

A moment of silence passed and the door at the end of the hall opened, Mary stepped out.

Riley didn't let her say anything before a burst of green was sent her way.

Mary didn't seem surprised, she did nothing to defend herself other than lift a device a push the button in the middle.

It emitted a high pitched sound, sending a sharp pain into Riley's head, causing her to lose focus, grip her head, and fall to her knees, the green energy falling suit.

An almost equally bothersome click of heels met Riley's ears, causing her to look up and into the eyes of Mary herself.

"I told you. I still have you."

As a way to further ensure this ideal, Mary pushed the red button again, it let out the same sound only causing double the pain.

"Stop please!" Riley begged, the sound made her ears bleed.

"Don't forget, Devastation, I call the shots."

Mary raised a hand, signaling two agents to come in and drag Riley away.

"Take her to her cell," Mary ordered, "I think she needs a refresher course in how to tell her place."

The annoying heel click sounded again as she walked away, the evil device still in hand.

Riley allowed herself to be dragged back to her cell where her hands were chained above her head to a bedpost.

She was chained in such a way that her back was facing the door and she was stuck facing the cement wall.

Her eyes shut tightly when she felt something sharp drag tauntingly down her spine.

"Let's see how long it takes you to heal from this one."

She didn't bother hiding the screams as the sharp object, presumably a knife, was pulled down the length of her back.

The knife moved back up her back to the base of her neck.

She let out another scream as she felt the blood begin to pool out of the incisions.

"You can scream as loud as you want, no one's going to hear you."

Another knife made it's way into Riley's back, she bit her lip to refrain from screaming a third time.

She leaned forward and spit out a mixture of blood and saliva.

"What are you trying to accomplish?" She croaked out.

She didn't get a response but a sharp yank as the knife was pulled haphazardly from her back.

She bit down on her lip again, spitting when she tasted the blood.

She couldn't see who was behind her, she couldn't predict their next move, not really. She did, however, feel the anticipation in the air as she braced herself for the next attack.

It never came.

There was a crackle and then static as a voice cut in and out through the radio on her attacker's belt, where all the other agents kept theirs.

She heard heavy footsteps echo away from her, a minute passed and she heard them approach her.

A final knife was jammed into her shoulder, a sudden, unpredicted, event that took Riley by surprise and forced her to cry out.

"Today's your lucky day," they said throwing the key to the handcuffs in her lap, taunting her with an escape.

The heavy steps sounded off again and Riley heard the heavy metal door close, leaving her completely alone.

She stared at the key: it taunting her.

With the knife lodged in her shoulder it was impossible to move her left arm without screaming, even leaning to either side made a red-hot pain travel through her.

After a few minutes of struggling, she gave up and rested her head against the wall. With her eyes closed, she whispered to herself and the darkness surrounding her, "I wish I was with you."

\-----

Time had passed, but in a room with no windows and made of cold, hard concrete it was hard to tell just how much.

She could hear the metal door scrape against the concrete floor though, with her back still facing the door, she couldn't tell who it was that entered.

Until she heard a feminine laugh. She groaned.

"Pathetic."

She heard the click of high heels get closer. She tried to scoot away but quickly stopped after feeling the handcuffs dig into her wrists and the knife dig more into her shoulder.

She was unaware the woman was behind her until she felt the knife rip from her shoulder.

"Son of a bitch!" She grunted, biting her lip to keep from screaming.

"That's no way to talk to someone who's helping you," Mary tsked.

Riley stayed silent as her handcuffs were undone.

She stood up slowly, rubbing her raw wrists.

"What brings the witch down to her dungeon?" Riley asked, carelessly throwing a glare in her direction.

"I have a proposition for you."

"And that is?"

"Kill the Winter Soldier."


	28. 3.8 : " WHERE'S MY HEART AND SOUL? "

Bucky wiped the sweat off his brow, bringing his left arm to the punching bag as it swung back to him.

His punch made the bag swing back away from him, this time he used his right hand to hit the bag.

He repeated this action over and over, his punches getting harder and harder, he felt the anger in his gut grow until he shot one final blow, sending the bag flying across the room.

He walked to the corner of the room, grabbing a towel and wiping his face.

Leaning against the doorway, Steve called out to him, "You've been in here a while."

Bucky dropped the towel and turned to look at him, "Sam said we'd start thinking of a plan as soon as I was better. I'm proving to him that I am."

"It's only been two weeks," Steve said, stepping towards his friend, "Taking it easy after a month long coma might not be a bad thing."

Bucky walked past him to set up another punching bag.

He heard a chuckle, "You know I did the same thing when Fury recruited me."

"Yeah?" Bucky grunted, punching the bag, "Except you aren't recruiting me."

A new voice joined the two friends, "You're right. I am."

Bucky turned around, "Sam?"

"She's alive. We're going to find her."

\----

Sam, Bucky, Steve, Tony, and Natasha all sat in the meeting room with a picture on display.

It was a security image, one Natasha had managed to snag while she had been searching Hydra bases.

"I hacked into twenty different known Hydra bases and five ones that we just got knowledge of but I finally found her." She announced, sliding multiple pictures towards Bucky.

It was a from a video, multiple pictures of Riley with green energy coming out of her hands, blood staining what was left of her torn clothes, a determined look on her face, she was ready for battle, ready to kill.

"Are you sure this is her?" He asked.

Sam nodded his head, "That's her."

Bucky closed his eyes and dropped the pictures.

"So what do we do?"

Tony stood up, looking around at the group in disbelief before saying, "Well isn't it obvious?" After a pause he chuckled, "It's a trap. Nat, you're good but they let you find that video and you know it."

"So what?" Bucky asked, raising a defiant stare to Tony.

"Buck, we can't fall into another trap. That's what started this whole mess," Steve advised, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Why?" Sam continued, ignoring Steve, "Why would they let us find her? They make her think we're dead, we think she's dead; it gives them the advantage."

"To get us thinking," Natasha said, lifting her head and looking around. "They want a fight, I say we give it to them."

\----

Riley staggered back and let out an emotionless laugh, "You want me to kill the Winter Soldier?"

Mary looked disinterested, "That's what I said, isn't it?"

"You should know I won't do that."

"Of course you won't. You're weak and impulsive, you'd try to fight us before you'd do anything. So no, it won't be you but it will be your body." She gave Riley a sadistic smirk, "Devastation will."

Riley felt two men grab her from behind.

"Must you always have other people do your dirty work?" She asked Mary, a glare on her face.

She just smirk and started saying the words Riley hated the most.

\----

"What's the plan?" Steve asked, head in his hands, "We're just going to knock on their doorstep and ask politely for her back?"

Tony interrupted Bucky before he could talk, "We aren't doing anything." He said, pointing between him and Steve.

Steve stood up, challenging him, "You don't control my decisions."

Bucky looked between the two men before looking to Sam who shook his head.

"Riley is his cousin, Tony. His family. I think it's perfectly justified that he's in on the plan," Natasha spat, defending her friend.

"So now you're both coming after me? Why don't we focus at the task at hand?" He asked, pointing to Sam, "Your plan?"

"Is for you to leave." Bucky said before Sam could say anything.

"This is my building, Barnes. You don't get to kick me out."

"And this has to do with the woman I've loved for a hundred years." Bucky challenged.

"And my family." Steve added.

Sam stood with his arms crossed, "And my friend."

Tony looked to Natasha for help, she only shook her head.

"Fine!" He threw his hands in the air, "I won't help." He stormed out the door, throwing one last glare in Steve's direction.

"Steve," Bucky said quietly, he was ignored.

"The plan." Steve sent a heated look at Sam who uncrossed his arms and leaned forward to rest his arms on the table.

\----

Her back was straight, her shoulders pressed back, her head held high, a look of power and superiority on her face.

She looked down at the woman in the lab coat beneath her.

"Wonderful to see you again, Devastation."

She turned her head away from the woman.

"Your mission," She continued, "is to kill the Winter Soldier. Will that be a problem?"

Devastation looked back down into the woman's eyes, "Of course not."

\----

"I like your thinking, Wilson," Natasha complimented, "It's almost as if I came up with the idea myself."

Sam rolled his eyes at her gloating but let himself smile at her.

Sam turned his head expectantly at Bucky.

He thought for a moment before nodding his head slowly.

All three looked to Steve, "Suit up."

\----

The woman circled Devastation like a predator stalking their prey.

Her snakelike eyes moved up and down her body in a way that would cause anyone else to shiver.

She stood straight and still, not moving an inch, as the woman pulled down the back of her shirt, presumably inspecting the healed wound on her shoulder blade.

She made a noise, one that was supposed to represent satisfaction, but sounded like a growl to Devastation.

She heard the heels the woman seemed to live in click away as she exited the room.

"Suit up, you have a job to do."

And so the predator attacked the prey.

But there was still hope yet, for the predator jumped too late and the prey had already snuggled it's way into the safety net of manipulation.

It was a common misconception among the predators, they never expect the roles to be reversed.

And so the prey became the predator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for me, today is October 11th, but if my calculations are correct it should be the 31st of October when this chapter posts, therefore Happy Halloween.
> 
> today i pushed through this chapter merely because i finally had time to write today even though i failed to have the motivation or inspiration to. that being said, i apologize if this seems all over the place. because of my lack of motivation and inspiration i wanted to try something new which is where the jump from perspective to perspective came from. 
> 
> the story will most likely be finished by the time this posts, by my end at least, but despite that i would like to know if you liked this because as i'm currently planning the next chapter these perspective jumps may very well happen and if a majority doesn't like it i will rewrite it before i post it. 
> 
> 10/31 : it's funny to read that last part because as of today i have like 3 words written of the next chapter because i have no idea as to what i want to do. that being said, there most likely won't be an upload next week and for that i'm sorry.
> 
> thank you for reading.
> 
> \- kay


End file.
